yours.

[57] Miles

"I love you."

Jasper settles his body onto mine, laying his head on my chest. "I love you, too."

"Tell me what's going on," I whisper. "You have to let me in." I stroke a hand down his back, relishing the slight shiver he gives. 

Jasper chuckles. "I love you, Miley, but not that much."

I frown, confused. "What--"

"I love your kisses." He kisses my jaw tenderly. "I love your body." He rubs a hand up my side. "I love the protection you give me. But I don't love you. I don't trust you."

I stare down at him, startled. "But you said..."

At this, he laughs outright. "You should know better than to believe anything anyone tells you, Miley. Least of all the people you love." He grins up at me wickedly, pressing a kiss to my lips. "Remember what your father told you? 'I'll be back in an hour.' And when's the last time you've seen him?"

"Six years ago."

"Six years ago," he repeats, his tone full of meaning. "I say, 'I love you,' I mean, 'I want you.' There's a difference. And you're stupid if you can't realize it."

I stare at the boy on my chest. "Jasper, please," I say, my words quiet. "Why are you doing this to me?"

He blinks, catlike. "Because I love you, of course." He slides a hand under the hem of my shirt, teasing me, and I try to push him off. But my hands are frozen, locked on his back, and I can't stop him as he kisses a light trail down my throat to my collarbone, down my chest -- which is now somehow bare -- to the skin just above my heart. He kisses the spot firmly, his eyes fluttering shut. And just as I start to relax, enjoying his touch, his fingernails sharpen to claws, slicing into my chest and gouging out my pulsing, bleeding heart.

I bolt upright, my sheets damp and tangled around me. My eyes dart around, trying to find something nice  -- something happy -- to root me in reality. They find the bright sunlight filtering through the blinds on my window, and I sigh. Just a dream, I say to myself. Just a dream. 

Jasper's not evil. He's not a monster. He can't hurt me.

Shaking my head, I correct myself. He already has.

It's a wonder I even fell asleep last night, with all the worrying and stress-eating I was doing. And even though I've told myself countless times that none of this is Jasper's fault, that he's just going through something, his absence still hurts.

And even though I know he needs his space, I can't respect that -- not when I know he's hurting himself.

Pulling my sweat-soaked sheets away from my body, I pluck my phone from where I left it beside my pillow last night. Just as I swipe to unlock it, a new message comes in. My fingers tremble a little as I open my messaging app and check my new texts, scanning them for Jasper's name in one sad second of desperation. Then I remember he doesn't have a phone or my number, and my hope dies.

Turns out the text is from Krystina. Of course.

Miles can you please respond i just really want to make sure your ok [Just Now]

I click off my phone and drop it back onto my mattress, running a tired hand over my face. I need to go see him, and soon, I just... don't know how he'll react to me showing up at his door. He didn't seem to want my attention when he left yesterday, but who knows? Maybe something changed between yesterday and today. Maybe he'll be happy to see me.

I drop my head into my hands, groaning. He won't, I think sullenly.

I take a quick shower and head downstairs, tucking my phone into the pocket of my shorts and promising myself I'll finally respond to Krystina today. It's my day off, and I plan to make full use of it.