THE8 | Junhao

TWENTY - NINE

| CHAPTER TWENTY - NINE |

"I just wanted to apologize." Minghao's hands were crossed in front of his body, and his face was hung low, "Everything that happened that night... All of it was my fault. I just wanted to let you know how much I deeply regret my actions, and will take any punishment without refusal."

Seungkwan looks at him, not saying anything.

"I'm so sorry for running," Minghao takes a shuddered breath, "I just— I was scared." He says, "My old station didn't believe in me like you guys did... and I guess that just got to me."

"Got to you?"

Minghao nods, "The thought that I couldn't do it. The thought that everything I ever do will always be wrong." He drops his head between his shoulder blades, sniffling, "I'm so sorry, chief. I-I would completely understand if you fired me."

Seungkwan coos, "Don't cry, The8." He stands up, walking around his desk. He ushers Minghao into a comforting hug, resting his chin on his shoulder, patting his back in reassurance, "I'm not firing you. People make mistakes, that's what makes us human."

"I just feel so bad." Minghao sighs into Seungkwan's embrace, "Dino was hurt because of me... I was drugged because I forgot how to fight back," Minghao gulps, "I never do anything right."

Seungkwan pulls back, shaking his head, "It's not the end of the world if you fail one mission." He tells him, pursing his lips, "Sure, we had a few shitty things that happened down there... but nothing was your fault. I promise you."

Minghao just sighs, head hung low.

"Like Junhui told you, we just weren't prepared for that big of a fight," Seungkwan shakes his head, "It wasn't all on you... we should've had more officers... more backup in all."

Minghao takes his bottom lip between his teeth, Seungkwan's words running through his ears, all the way down to his aching heart.

Why was he crying so much lately? What happened to the powerful, almighty person he'd been building up these past 2 years? What, did that entire aura vanish? What was with the tears? The constant breaking down he'd been doing ever since he got here?

"And are you doing alright? I never asked you." Seungkwan frowns, looking over Minghao's body, "Where'd they get you? Does it still hurt?"

Minghao pats his side, "It's just a bit sore."

Seungkwan pouts his bottom lip in sympathy, "If you aren't feeling well, you can go home. I'm sure we can manage."

"I'm okay, don't worry."

"It's not a crime to take a sick day—"

"I said I'm fine." Minghao says more firmly this time, a feeling of sudden guilt creeping up in his chest when Seungkwan's sympathetic facial expression twitches.

Your real aura. There it is.

Don't be sorry, Minghao. Just own it.

He shrugs off his feelings, giving Seungkwan one last reassuring smile before turning on his heel, walking out of the chief's office.

He finds himself situated in his cubby only moments later, swaying back and forth in his chair as he hums silently, fingertips tapping his pen against the stack of papers to his right, his left clicking away on the mouse.

He ignores everyone's glances every once and a while, and the fact that Dino's cubby was empty. He didn't like how silent the room was now, and he even found himself missing the boy's dumb comments here and there.

He even catches himself looking over at Dino's cubby every once and a while.

"He'll be fine." Minghao turns his head, eyes meeting Jun's, "He's a tough guy. Nothing can beat him." Minghao looks away after Jun smiles, getting back to work without another word exchanged.

Still, Minghao feels that guilt rip at his heartstrings. His chest felt heavy and congested, and he hated the way his entire being was betraying his reason to be here once again.

He closes his eyes, taking a silent breath. His hand shakes on the mouse, and he watches the way the arrow moves back and forth on the screen from the constant movements.

He feels a hand rest on top of his though, all his movements coming to a stop.

He doesn't turn his head, instead closes his eyes, trying to control his breathing, trying to control the sudden need to burst into tears.

"Deep breath."

Minghao hesitates and doesn't bother to look at Jun, but listens nonetheless, parting his lips to breathe in and out, opening and closing his eyes, moving in and out of emotions.

"Can I do anything?" Jun's voice was sweet, genuine, and Minghao hated it.

"No." His answer was short, simple, and he rips his hand away from the mouse, paying no mind to the boy next to him. He resumes his work as if nothing happened, eyes flickering back and forth between his computer screen.

His mind blurs a scene, a memory clouding his brain.

"An officer killed your father, Minghao."

Minghao clenches his jaw, look serious.

Don't feel bad.

You're here for revenge, after all.