Mosaicked Feelings

XXIV: I'll Never Leave You

There have been quite a few times in my life when I wanted to run away, far enough that when I'd finally look back, if I tried to, I'd only see nothingness.

Yet no amount of 'you can do it', made me any less helpless. I never had a choice most time. Choicelessness and helplessness were the words that defined that thin line between the story pen in my hand, and fate's hand, and usually it would be the latter.

It was minutes later that I realised I was unashamedly eye-stalking the girl. From what I had observed from my secretive eyeballing her, was that she was extremely gorgeous looking -- and it surfaced some of my insecurities and newfound feelings. She was just as pretty as a pretty girl could be -- and was anything like me -- not in the stereotypical blonde bimbo girl who would steal your man, but the softer kind where she wouldn't even have to try hard to get anyone she would want.

But to think that Edward had invited her over, to our party, was a thought that slowly had begun taking a toll on me.

I instantly revolted my eyes to the drink I was holding, when I saw her catch me staring at her. Downing away the rest of the fruity drink, I searched around for Edward in the slightly crowded living room. He looked unfazed by the growing attention he was getting from his friends and seemed to be so much at ease. He tended to be quite extroverted in contrast to me -- something I had learnt about him with time. He got along with people as easier as it was for me not to.

I tried to distract my over-analysing mind, knowing well I was being a party pooper and that the girl shouldn't be a big ordeal when Edward had assured me yesterday. But why did it feel like something was really off? I just couldn't be okay with it anymore.

Edward came back along, probably noticing my awkward loner state, and accompanied me by introducing me to some of his friends whose names I couldn't quite get. He firmly rested his arm around my back as he reunited with me, and led me to new people, meeting and greeting with them. I only responded with shy smiles, being at a loss for any intelligible words. I felt quite detached from the ruckus that I was in, as my mind wandered elsewhere. In a matter of seconds, my eyes darted towards the black phone, placed on the TV set, and instantly recognised it as Edward's. Without putting much mind to what I was doing, I quietly but anxiously moved about, looking past my shoulder to alert myself of any intruders. I shakily picked up the device, my curiosity dictating every single action of me. Before Edward or anyone could catch me red-handed, I shoved the phone inside my skirt pocket, shuffling it in the process and instantly retracted my hands to a fidgety position.

And before I could excuse myself, the only person I seemed to know, showed up.

"Hey, Michelle. I'm so sorry I got late!" An exhausting-looking Marilyn exclaimed,  looking quite decent herself, in a simple cropped top and jeans. Her new style, unlike the typical mundane university apparel I had usually seen her in, was something of a kind in itself. I mentally groaned at her sudden presence, just wanting to run away to a quiet place and look at Edward's personal information to fill me in with all the answers he wasn't willing to tell.

I managed to beam at her in response, partially relieved -- and more apprehensive -- at her sight. Edward welcomed her and she pulled me into a hug, ignoring him completely. I uncomfortably hugged her small frame back, my long height towering over her.

"I hope you're better now. I couldn't tolerate a guy breaking your heart," She added after pulling off and Edward frowned at her, never leaving my hand during the hug.

"Who's breaking hearts here?" We heard a gasp, revealing Anna prancing towards us. "For such a beautiful girl," She looked stunning in the white knee-length dress she wore, complementing her beautiful body.