Mosaicked Feelings

XXXI: Being Closely Watched

After outshining my having to explain myself skills that I learnt well from college -- over why and how I was in a vulnerable situation and that I needed help -- conclusively, the old man didn't seem half as convinced. I couldn't blame him though because I understood why he just wouldn't be persuaded.

Proof only existed for physical assault, and not for things emotionally and mentally damaging things. Only the consequence of it was the evidence of that, and I wanted to be anything but an irreparable wound.

My fretfulness got the best of me, as my mind begun making suppositions of how the teachers were manipulated into thinking, I was making everything up, and then all of them would end up thinking that I was just crazy. And there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. Or best case scenario, even if that man was convinced, Edward's persuasion capabilities weren't something to be underestimated, and everyone would believe him, without a second thought.

Why would someone ever believe someone so pathetic and lonely like me? They had no reason to.

After the chairman dismissed me by telling me he will look over the matter, and if convinced would speak to Edward and Hannah privately about it, that was when I realised I had made a big mistake.

Why would they even bother to change once they'll be spoken to about it? It might only make things worse for me.

I had left his office, glancing over the man who had escorted me over and nodded towards him, as a thank you. I got out, feeling shaken by the interaction and the bold decision I had just made. Maybe it was impulsive, what I did, but I didn't know what any other person in their right mind would have done if someone was against them to the extent of threatening to kill them.

I spent the remaining day, taking classes but staying away from any social interaction. Marilyn hadn't come to university today but even if she did, I was expecting she wouldn't talk to me considering how I straightforwardly told her I just felt better alone. It was true and was the first time I had told someone off and said no to them. The guilt did stir inside me at the thought, but my paranoia overpowered the feeling. Perching in a seat at the end of the library, I fished out the novel Marilyn gave me. I had this gut feeling that maybe she did it for my betterment and to warn me on how I needed to let go of what was toxic. It had been nagging my curiosity for some time now, and I didn't think there was a better distraction for me than to hide in a book.

As soon as I settled down, I skimmed and scanned the hardcover of the book, too into my reverie. The big bold letters stood out on the front that read 'Him', and right before I could indulge myself in it, I was yet again interrupted by someone.

"Hey there,"

My eyes instantly snapped up to find Drake towering over the table, not before sitting down in the wooden chairs, just a seat away from me. His dark eyes shone with concern, doubt and suspicion, while he glanced at me silently for a moment.

"Hello, are you here for wanting help with the assignments?" I asked in a very distant tone, not in the state of explaining myself again and answering questions.

"You know why I'm here," He spoke as if hinting at something. "The haircut looks cute on you though." He smiled and I didn't react.

"Get to the point, Drake,"

"You've been acting very distant lately? Is it because I did something...?" He trailed off, looking away into the sea of people stretched on the other end of the library. He sounded so unsure of himself, but I couldn't bring myself to affirm his concerns.

"Did Edward send you here to talk to me?" I narrowed my eyes and he mustered a puzzled look. "Why Drake? There's nothing to talk okay? And why is he even asking you?" I blurted, not being able to keep my thoughts to myself anymore.