Mosaicked Feelings

XXV: Scars Like Graffiti

I stared back at Edward, trying to make the most out of his expression. He seemed to look oblivious to any of my illicit confidentiality, and I contemplated whether to finally break it to him about Hayden or not.

"I mean is he some guy who's bothering you in university?" Edward rephrased, acknowledging my anxiousness, although he look seemingly puzzled. Not retrieving a response from me, he then muttered to himself, looking away and tugging hard at his hair. "I can't possibly miss out on this..."

"How do you know about him?" I questioned back, and Edward turned towards me again, his eyes gathering every inch of expression I was ciphering. I somehow managed to stand my ground, looking as monotonous as my teachers in university.

He paused, in deep thought and after some time, he replied. "That shouldn't matter. I just want to know who he is,"

Knowing full well, he was capable of hurting someone, I nervously redirected the subject, wanting to finally voice out my concern. "I could ask you the same about Hannah," I already knew it was most probably Drake, who told him about my concerns over this certain Hayden, and it only worsened my trust issues.

He watched me in pure shock, the curtness of my tone not slipping away from his observant notice. Then, he inhaled a deep breath, took my hand, and led me to a secluded corner of the house, making sure no one witnessed our crazy banter. "What is this all about Michelle?" He questioned in a warning tone, and I scoffed.

"I should be the one asking you that," I spoke, my voice unintendedly cracking at ends. "Hayden was the one who told me all about your secretive affairs. Tell me Edward, who's Hannah?"

"Who's Hayden?" He calmly asked again. "And why are you speaking to him? Wasn't he your ex from your college?"

"No," I half-whispered, half-shouted. "He's from this university and he used to be your friend,"

If Edward didn't already look furious under his subtly calm expression, then now those emotions transformed from utter bewilderment. "No, this can't be. If this Hayden from your college was here... I definitely would've known," He answered, his face thoughtful. I simply gawked at him in astonishment. I knew he was lying, straight to my face. But the way he pretended, seemed like a pretty well-acted gesture of confusion.

Fury took over me before I could stop myself. "So you're going to pretend you don't know him, just like you don't know Hannah?"

"Hannah's my sister, for God's sake. Why in the world would you suspect her?" He answered coldly and I gaped at him.

"A sister, who you're having an affair with? Wow, that sounds so believable," I croaked, already feeling my eyes gathering thick tears in them. I didn't know what was it that made it so hard for me to act sturdy -- even when it was clearly my place to be upset -- yet I just couldn't help my overemotional stature. Turning away from him, I cupped my eyes with my palms again, pressing my tears back, and sliding my hand through and back in my hair as I sniffed loudly. I didn't even bother glancing back at Edward, who I was sure was only putting up a guise of fake shock and disappointment.

"Michelle, why would you make such an assumption about me?" I heard him whisper so lowly behind me, I almost heard the hauntedness in every decibel of it, exorcising all of my feelings inside of me. "Didn't I just clear that I'm not cheating?"

It wasn't my suspicions against him that he was cheating, but rather his thoughts of me being capable of being unfaithful, and probably accusing me of so. And the haunting thoughts of him wanting to hurt anyone, let alone someone trying to help me out like Hayden was, wasn't something that settled with me right. And that was my cue to leave. Edward knew too well how to push the right buttons and get on those specific nerves through manipulation, making me feel less differently about him. Whereas all he was doing was hiding and lying every single word and action, right to my face, and without any hesitance. I was now surer than anything that Edward was playing tricks and wondering if I'd probably play along with him because I was too naïve for my own sake. I needed to speak to someone about it, to clear my head and there was no one I thought was eligible enough, except for Hayden. I needed a clearer reason or a green signal on why I needed to ditch Edward right at the spot.