Mosaicked Feelings

Afterword

As soon as I felt like I had transcended to a happy place, free of worries, and feeling like all my hurt was being replaced by a foreign feeling of serenity, I was interrupted by a strange sensation.

A faint tune of beeping, somewhere in the far distance, the light treading of footsteps and unintelligible chattering, somehow had triggered my consciousness.

I mutely grumbled, shifting a bit from my stiff position, the feeling of softness beneath my body enveloping me. Slowly moving my head, I tried to open my eyes but the sharp white rays of light pierced my vision and I closed them again. I brought my weak hand very slowly towards my eye, huffing and whimpering to myself. Curling my frail fingers into a fist, I rubbed them to regain sight, while tilting my head again a little. The intensified pain that I felt in my stomach, caused me to wince whilst I struggled to move. All my senses became alerted as my ears picked and tuned in the sound of rushed footsteps, from all the light noise elsewhere.

I heard a strained voice, almost crying out. "Michelle!"

My eyes which were open into slits instantly shot wide open, and I gaped at my surroundings, trying to take in everything. Bright white office lights illuminated the area, and everything around me was nothing but a splash of white. White linen curtains, white bedding that I was laid on, white painted walls and people dressed in bleak white clothing. The whiteness around was enough to drive someone insane.

"Michelle..." The voice drove my attention again. I slowly turned my head towards the source of it, absorbing every single detail.

Pale golden hair, lightly tanned skin and bright blue eyes gleamed at me, a sharp contrast to the otherwise mundane room. I almost didn't recognise the person, that sat next to me.

Before reality struck me.

I was alive.

But not in the place where I wanted to be.

I instantly jerked up from the bed in fear in sudden realisation, causing the draped white sheets over me, to fall from my torso. I gulped lightly, touching my arms with my shaky frail hands, and glanced everywhere again to ensure everything was real and not imaginary. I scanned the whitewashed compartment with wide eyes before slowly turning towards the boy I barely knew anymore.

His appearance was severely out of place and dishevelled -- something I'd never seen him like before. It would've teared me up to see him in that state if it wasn't for my own messed up situation. His hair was very messy, his face unshaven which showed a light brown shadow of hair across his jaw. His eyes seemed lifeless, but a flicker of hope still glimmered in them as they stared back at me, and right through me. My breath hitched in my throat just as his strong arms pulled my body into his. The heaving of his paced breathing, the slight tinge of nicotine in his breath, and the racing heartbeat synchronisingly rhyming against my thumping one in my chest, all replaced my jittery nerves. I didn't -- or couldn't -- reciprocate the warming gesture for some reason though, but I didn't resist either, melting into him. It didn't stop him from pecking and placing kisses in my hair during the hug.

The doctor came in just after, pulling us apart and checking over me, not before asking the guy beside me to escort me out. He resisted for a moment but had no choice but to leave.

The nurse entered next, wearing all white as well, and smelling of medicine and chemicals. She checked the monitor beside me and then, ensured all of my limbs, my breathing, my temperature, and vitals to see if I was fine. The check-up lasted several minutes, followed up by multiple questions about my well-being. I was then given some food that looked like some vegetable salad in white plastic packaging and some kind of weird pill after that. I didn't resist, doing whatever the nurse told me to.