Mosaicked Feelings

XXXIV: Fearless for Death

There were times in life, like such intensive moments, that consequently paralysed you, slowing everything around several notches. As soon as I was met with the situation I was least expecting, and most dreading, I froze in my spot, appalled.

Mum and Edward looked back at me, mirroring my reaction.

It seemed like that very last page of the story, rooting the reader midway from reading any further towards the ending -- and whatever it held, after being unfolded.

"Michelle, good afternoon," Mum broke the thick silence, trying as hard to keep me at bay from panicking.

As if on instinct, I instantly shot her a crestfallen look. I couldn't bring myself to look at Edward on the other hand, much to my fearfulness but more of disappointment.

I wanted to shout, yell at them, shake some sense into Mum to tell her why she went against my propositions and didn't trust me the most out of all the people, and instead trusted someone who clearly was harmful to us.

I stepped inside, my surfaced calmness and composure, surprising me and everyone else in the room. I silently closed the door behind me, the silent thud filling the quietness of the room whilst I stifled my vulnerabilities under my eerily emotionless surface.

"Michelle, I'm sorry about whatever I did," Edward's raspy voice -- thick with feigning concern -- intervened to my and mum's surprise. "Please can you hear me out?"

The very words stirred some sort of emotion in me that I was already trying so hard to suppress. "Sorry about what?" My voice came off as thicker, probably hurt and pain blending in it. My aching feet were tired of carrying me and rooting me to my spot, but I didn't or probably couldn't move. My eyes swung to and fro between both of them and in some moments, my vision blurred.

I couldn't take it anymore and their fake niceties were not something I was in the state of buying. Without hearing anything either one of them had to say, I marched towards my room, still keeping the façade of adamantine, intact.

"Michelle-" Edward started again, and I instantly came to a halt. "Can we talk?"

And that was the last straw that un-bottled my feelings. "You cursed and manipulated Mum into thinking you're the good person while I'm bad. Shouldn't that be enough for you Edward? I don't think there's anything left to talk now," I spoke slowly, but dangerously calmly.

Both of their reactions transformed into that, of puzzlement and shock. "Michelle I think there has been some kind of misunderstanding..." Mum was the first to comment, and I scoffed loudly at her nerve.

My eyes stung at her obliviousness, making me want to break down and beg her to believe me, but I couldn't. I knew whatever I was going to say would be the same as speaking to the walls. I stared back at Edward watchfully, searching his face for any hint of satisfaction, but all I saw was seriousness and unfamiliar unnameable emotions.

"I don't want to hear anything either of you have to say," I remarked, almost whispering to keep the shuddering in my voice under control. Turning away, I stomped towards my room, in bursting anger, and I slammed my door shut. And before I even knew it, I leaned over the nightstand against my hand, as I steadied my panicky breathing. I broke down again, feeling worse about everything while harshly rubbing my eyes to stop the tears welling. I sank, and buried my sobbing face in my hands, letting out shuddering breaths and the tears endlessly flowing out again.

It was minutes later after I calmed down, and my head begun to slightly hurt as I rubbed my stuffy nose. I still heard some light chatter outside of my room and I climbed over the bed to muffle the voices away. I removed my shoes from my feet simultaneously, and dug out my phone, wanting to call Hayden for assurance. But then I remembered I couldn't. Edward had my phone hacked, I couldn't contact him right now, or else he'll know and accuse me of cheating, to Mum. Feeling frustrated and agitated, I threw my phone on the bed and got up again.