Chemical - Post Malone

To honor and obey

"Ok, first up the starter. We have chocolate-infused watercress soup, served cold or deep fried Mopane worms on a bed of lettuce with crackers."

Kitty sniffs and inspects each dish like she knows what she is doing and then pretends to taste each dish while Austin and Chef Alex, watch her with disgusted faces. Kitty says, "worms," at the same time Austin says, "neither." The exotic food chef that Kitty has hired looks at them in confusion. Kitty pushes the starters over to Austin. "Austin you promised. Please. I am just trying to make a good first impression," Kitty says sweetly. Austin lets out a long-winded over the top sigh that makes the exotic foods chef look even more confused while chef Alex hides her laugh behind her hand - she has gotten used to Kitty and Austin's bullshit over the last few weeks.

"Fine, the soup," Austin says but Kitty shakes her head. "No. You have to taste them and choose the best one. It's important. Please...for me," Kitty says sweetly again. Austin looks at chef Alex who puts her hands up, "absolutely not! That is your problem," she says pointing at Kitty. Austin takes a deep breath and then slurps a spoonful of the soup while now Kitty and chef Alex look at him in disgust. He swallows and squeezes his eyes shut, "fuck," he says under his breath then without hesitation he grabs a worm and throws it in his mouth, "fucking shit," he whispers and sits down on a stool while he concentrates on chewing the worm.

"Did you eat that worm?" Kitty asks shocked. Austin's head pops up and he glares at her. "What do you mean did in eat the worm? Of course I ate the fucking worm, Kitty!" He says, his voice stressed and raised. "Disgusting," chef Alex says. "Ah, excuse me. Mopane worms are packed with nutrients," the exotic foods chef says. "The worms. Let's just go with the worms. Anything is better than that soup...no offense," Austin says. "None taken. That's the whole point of my business! Getting people out of the boring food choices and into a more fabulous and fun pallet," the exotic foods chef says.

"Ok! Now for the main dish choices," the exotic food chef says producing two dishes. Kitty, Austin, and chef Alex lean over and inspect the first plate. "Oh well that does not looks so bad, it's just vegetables and steak," Austin says relief flooding his words. "Ah! But you would be wrong Mr. Post. So yes we have a melody of fresh roasted vegetables with snail shell gravy and the steak is not steak at all but a blend of soybeans, tofu, seaweed, and organic grass shaped and fried to give the illusion of steak."

They all stare at the exotic food chef with big eyes. He moves into the next dish. "This the organ stew. Lamb eyeballs, ox testicles, and chicken hearts," he says with a smile that's way too big for what he just said. Austin holds up his finger, grabs Kitty's arm, and tugs her into the bar area. "What the fuck, Austin. Bit rude yanking me out of a meeting like that don't you think?" Kitty says as ladylike as she can.

"Bit rude yanking me out of a meeting like that," Austin mocks her in a high-pitched voice. Kitty gasps, "I do not sound like that!" she says. Austin rolls his eyes. "have you lost your fucking mind?" he whispers shouts at her. Kitty smacks Austin's hand off her arm and fixes her not messed at all hair. "Honestly, Austin you are acting like a child. It's just food." Austin's mouth drops open, he kicks the kitchen door closed and then waves his arms in the air as he shouts, "just food! Just food! I don't know what the fuck that stuff is in there but it's not fucking food. I just ate a worm for fucks sake, woman!" Kitty battles to hide her grin. His reaction is perfect.

"When you said you wanted to meet my friends and suggested we have a get together I thought you would plan a relaxed BBQ, a few beers outside next to the pool maybe. Not this shit show!" Austin shouts.

"Well, maybe this is who I am now, Austin! Maybe I like fancy dinner parties, with exotic food, ice sculptures and a string quartet!" she shouts back.

"You hired a string quartet!"