Chemical - Post Malone

Divorce

It's quiet except for the sound of Austin's heart as it thumps against his chest just like her own is doing. Austin's lips are gentle and soft on hers. Almost like he's afraid she will disappear on him right this second. His hands go between grabbing her hips and wiping his cheeks. Eventually, he calms a little and slides his hands up her sides like he is mapping out every inch of her body and committing it to memory. when she feels him get emotional again she needs to keep him calm and distract him. So she lets out a little desperate squeak and she can feel the second Austin melts back into her.

He makes Kitty feel weak, they are both scared and desperate for another choice to be made. But Kitty knows as well as he does that there is no other way. Both her and Austin are raw and vulnerable right now. Her chest burns with the realization that this is her last time with Austin. As if he can read her mind he pulls back a little and looks at her. "Is there no other way, baby...please," his voice is raw still.

Kitty wants to answer but gets lost in the sweep of Austin's tongue against her jaw and neck as he licks, nips, and kisses her, leaving her body shaking as a shiver tingles up her spine. She would normally be rather vocal by now but she seems to have lost her ability to make any sounds. Tonight she is quiet. Austin pulls off her nightshirt then her sleep shorts stopping between each to admire and touch her. He touches her like he is saying goodbye, leaving invisible marks on her skin that she hopes she can draw from when he is not close enough to touch anymore.

He drops to his knees in front of her, grabbing her hips and as he looks up at her Kitty is sure he is going to beg her to stay. To be honest, if he begged anymore she would not be strong enough to go through with leaving. She needs him to keep his promise. His eyes are so sad it breaks her heart. Then he shifts and buries his head between her legs, licking into her. Her knees buckle at his stroking, but Austin's strong hands hold her up. She looks down and can see how her stomach muscles flex and roll with every electrical shock Austin's tongue flicks into her.

Eventually, he leans back, detaches himself from her, and watches her. Kitty wants to cry, Austin is not ok. He puts out his hands for her to take and when she does he pulls her down onto the floor. Taking the pillow from the chair for under her head he guides her onto her back. Kitty can feel her panic rise, every movement feels like their last and it petrifies her. She wills herself to calm down and keep her wits about herself. Austin lets go of her and stands, removing his sleep shorts. Kitty has to swallow the lump in her throat, it's nothing she has not already seen. But the way he looks now standing over her with labored breath and hooded eyes, something is different. It feels very final like the end of an era.

Her body reacts without her even thinking about it, her back arches, and her legs open in the hopes he touches her quickly. Her hands itch and she reaches out to touch him, but Austin raises his eyebrows, "you have me forever, Kitty. You know that right?" he says softly. Kitty hates herself for the pain she has caused him...for the pain she is still causing him. She does not answer him because she can't swallow past the lump on her throat nor can she blink past the tears that are already slipping down her cheeks. Both her and Austin are a mess.

Kitty can see how her response affects Austin as he bites his bottom lip and pulls in a heavy breath. He watches her, studying her face and so she tries to still her features and wipe away her tears. He crawls between her thighs and lowers himself over Kitty. "Don't cry, baby. This is for the best," he says as he wipes the tears she did not get. "But you are so sad," Kitty says. Austin cocks his head, "I am, Kitty. I feel like my chest is made of shattered glass. But you need this and so I will give it to you," he says. Kitty feels awful. She shakes her head. She wants to retract everything she said. She wants to take it all back."No...I will find another way," she squeaks. Austin smiles down at her and shakes his head slightly, "you will find your way back to me," he says. "What if I can't find my way back?" Kitty chokes out.