UNDERCOVER ⧗ BLACKHILL

Confessions - 21

~ Natasha's POV ~
--------------------------

"She's not anyone else, she's with us," I say confidently.
"And how would you know that?" Wanda quips back, leaning forward in her chair.

I stay silent, knowing exactly how I know, just not wanting to say it.

"You asked, didn't you?" she eventually figured me out by my silence. "That's risky."
"I'm sorry, I know," I apologize. "I shouldn't have, it had more risks."
"That's right, but I do have some questions for you."

"Ok, I deserve them."
"Why?"
"There's cues to tell if people are lying. If we let her go, she would have time and the resources to take us down. And if she was, we would've put a hinge in the plans, she would've gotten out, considering the obvious risk if we found out."

"And did she give any cues?"
"No."
"Did you tell her about the bug?"
"Yes," Wanda looks a little disappointed.
"And?"
"She said that she understood, she'd have done the same if she were in our position."
"Ok, that's good for you."

Since I'm already in this deep, might as well as dig myself an even bigger hole. Might as well say everything before she finds out another way, that would just make all of this worse. "I also told her about the tape from the bug," I spill out, to which her eyes widen. "She said that it was right after you had asked her to move in here. The words mission and out were the mission to get everything that she would bring here out of the house."

"That is a plausible explanation for that," Wanda looks as if she's thinking. "But you have to understand, if she's trained,"
"She's not, not in anything else, she's with us," I say, sounding like I'm trying to convince myself more.
"You like her, that's obvious Natasha, of course you want to believe that. I, though, know that people like her on the other side are very highly trained. Lies would look like the truth. Just be careful."

I stumble a little on my words. "I-I don't like her, not like that."
"Sure, just about everyone can see it though. It's no use."

I just stay silent, knowing that there's no winning against Wanda. She just smiles, and waves me out of her office, probably happy she confirmed what apparently everyone already knows. Heading back to my room, I lay down on my bed, wishing I could undo time and actions. Although she may not say it, I definitely lost Marci's trust a little, and possibly her trust in us.

Picking up my phone, I order a personal size pizza and fries for delivery with instructions to leave it at the gate, because we don't allow anyone who's not in the organization beyond them. Knowing and understanding that most delivery people don't want to deliver to us, I add a nice tip, so it doesn't get cancelled or no one accepts the order.

Luckily, it goes through pretty quickly, and should be here soon. I don't order out very often, I'll do it mostly when I don't feel like getting anything or basically want to be left alone. Sometimes, it feels like social interaction just isn't it, so I hide out in my room for the rest of the night. No one really questions me, knowing I'll come out or talk if I want to.

---

I hear the buzzer go off, indicating my order is here, so I go to the intercom by the front door.
"Delivery, I'll just leave it here, thanks for the tip," the driver says, he looks like he's just a kid, obviously a young man, but his voice does not sound like a man's.
"Of course," I reply, and he walks back off to his car to drive off.

Walking out to the gate, I see the bag with my order there, stapled closed. I pick it up, taking in the fresh air around me, making me realize that I haven't been outside all day. Looking inside, the food looks delicious so I head quickly back inside and right back to my room.

Finally comfortably back in my bed, I open the pizza box on my bed, careful not to get my sheets dirty. The last thing I want to do is to wash them.

The TV recommends based off what I've watched, I should watch Bones, so I put it on. It's about some forensic anthropologist who teams up with a FBI agent to solve murders when their methods of identification/telling of what happened are out the window.

—-

Half of the pizza, most of the fries, and a few episodes of Bones later, I hear a quiet knock at my door. Pausing the show, I reply, not really wanting to be disturbed at this moment.

"What is it?" I say loudly enough so the person can hear me.
"I've been wondering where you were," I hear Marci say gently as she slowly opens the door.
"Oh sorry I thought you were one of the guys or something."
"Are you saying I sound like them," she teases, making her way over to me.
"Of course not," I answer quickly to cover my tracks.
"Don't worry," she chuckles. "I was just messing with you."

"Oh," I breathe, glad she didn't take it personally. "Want something?" I motion to all the food across my bed.

"I'll take a fry," she reaches over and takes a fry. If any of the guys saw this, they'd throw a fit. I'm notorious for not sharing my fries when I have them.
"You good?"
"Hm?" I question, snapping out of a trance.
"One, you're eating in here. Two, you've been here basically all day. Three, you're dazing out. Four, your a good distance into this show, and I haven't seen you watch it before."

"Ya I'm fine," I try to deflect. She just stares at me, knowing that's not the case.
"You can talk when you want, got it?" Marci reassured me. I just nod my head, knowing there was no use trying to get out of it anymore.
"Want to watch?" I ask her.
"Sure, it looks good."

I restart from episode 1 so she can understand what's going on, plus it feels good to be able to explain something on a show when someone's confused.
We sit against my headboard, sharing what's left of the pizza and fries. I eventually got her to try it, I insisted that she had to, it was too good not to.

Almost halfway into the first episode again, I can notice that while I want to talk, I don't want to bother her either. I steal little glances at her, which I think she's picking up on.

"Would it bother you if I talked?" I ask quietly, waiting for her response.
"No, of course not, I wouldn't have offered," she grabs the remote and pauses the show to turn her full attention back to me. "What happened?"

I begin to ramble again, "I told Wanda about, well, you know."
"About?"
"What I asked you, and how that I know you're on our side."
"Was she mad?" she asks, so I don't shut down.
"Yes and no? Like she's a little upset I asked, sure, but she's also happy to know the results per sé. She also said something else," I lead, not knowing how exactly to say it.

"What did she say?"
"It's obvious that we're just not us. We're not friends. We never were. Apparently everyone can tell," I chuckle a little, trying to lighten the mood.
"That obvious?" she repeats, laughing at how silly it sounds. "I thought we were better at that."
"Me too, but I guess not."

——

A/N: around 200 longer! anyways i thought that was a good place to end the chapter.