UNDERCOVER ⧗ BLACKHILL

The Talk - 24

(Wanda's POV)
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As long as I've been in this business, you begin to be able to tell all sorts of things. You know who's been in the business a long time, you know who's doing it for the money, you know who's doing it because somehow, someway, they got mixed up in it.

In other words, you can tell when someone wants in and someone wants out.
Recently, I can't tell if Natasha wants in or out. She's so young, and taking her in was one good thing I did. Not that what we're doing is necessarily good, but the part where I got her sober.

She never got to live a normal life. She never got to get that college experience, well I didn't either. But the point is, she's never really known anything outside of danger. Immediately, she turned to this, and I don't blame her, I would've done the same.

Maybe recently there's a part of her that wonders what she'd be doing, or where she'd be if she hadn't got caught up in all of this. Maybe she wonders who'd be in her life, if she would have a family.

Well I guess there's only one way to find out.

—-

"I actually have a question for you Romanoff," I say to her as she's walking to the kitchen.
"Sure," she replies, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge.
"If your life wasn't what it was, what do you think you'd be doing?"
"Huh?" she asks in shock.
"It's just- you were so young when you started. Sorry to bring it up, but do you think you'd be somewhere else?"
Natasha thinks for a few seconds, "I've never thought about that really."
"Well you let me know, ok?"
"Ok," she still sounds unsure, I don't blame her.

Walking back off, I feel bad for bringing up the past, and not knowing how else to bring up the subject isn't an excuse but I have to know. Did she genuinely never think about a life outside or am I the cause of that? I really hope I'm not, that would genuinely hurt.

I groan as I put my head in my hands, not knowing where to go with this. She's going to come to me with an answer eventually, and what do I do then? This should've been way more thought out than it was.

Distracting myself by going through papers and organizing, I don't know how long it's been as there's a silent knock at my door. The clock is no help, apparently I didn't even bother to look at that when I come in, which I usually do. What has gotten into me lately?

—- (Natasha's POV)

There's a slight "come in," on the other side of the door, so I slowly push the door open. All I can see is Wanda sitting at her desk, papers in front of her. Not surprised, she usually distracts herself with work, which isn't the best thing.

Trying to lighten the mood a little bit, I speak first as I sit down in front of her. "You know, you can't avoid whatever by burying yourself in work all the time, it's not good."

"I know, I know, I just like work. So, have you come up with an answer?" she asks, now having her full attention on me.

"I think so," I take a deep breath, getting ready to say my answer to her earlier question.
"If I wasn't here, I don't know. I might be running my own business or something because I was never the one to be taking orders from anyone."

"But that's basically what you do here?"

"Well, not in a way. You tell me my job, yes, but I make my own schedule. It's almost working for myself and in a world where I'd have to listen to a boss in some office job, I'd be fired so fast. I wouldn't take anyones shit."

"That's true."

"Maybe I wouldn't even be here, in the sense of here in the states. If whatever business I started actually took, I'd have to travel to expand."

"That does sound like a nice plan," she says. "You've really never really thought about this?"

"Nope," I say more confidently, what I just said still sounding like a joke. "Why?"

"I don't know, sometimes you see someone and wonder under different circumstances, if you'd still meet them the way you did. Or if you'd meet them at all."

"I never really thought about it that way."

"I don't think anyone does until there's a reason to," Wanda reasons.

"I guess," I say as I stand up and walk out, still not having any definitive answers as to why she asked this. Maybe Marci will have an idea, she's smart.

"Marci?" I ask her as she heads into her room.
"Yea?" she looks back at me, cookie in hand.
"I have a question," I lead.
"Sure, I'm gonna sit on my bed, come on," she signals for me to do the same.

When we get comfortable on the bed, I start talking again.
"I was asked if I wasn't here, since I got into all of this so young, where would I be? What would I be doing, and that made me think. I didn't know. I said I'd probably be running a business because I wouldn't be able to work under a boss, I'd just be the one who wouldn't take any of their shit. Maybe even go international if it got big."

"That sounds nice," she comments, thinking about the life I had just said I might have if it weren't for here. "Wait, isn't Wanda like a boss though?"

"Yes but also we make our own schedules. Unless she has a special job for us, but that's about it."

"Makes sense to me," she shrugs her shoulders, turning her attention to the TV.

I also look at the TV, the remote scrolling through all the possibilities of things to watch. There's so many shows that look interesting, and I don't know about Marci, but me, I stick to the ones I know what's going to happen. I'm not too adventurous in that department. 

"Have you ever seen this?" she asks me, pulling up a description of a show on the TV. On the screen, there's the title, "Motherland: Fort Salem". 
"I haven't," I look at it. "But it does look good."
"And that's correct, today's the day you start another show."
"How did you manage?" I ask in disbelief, that I'm actually about to start watching a new show. 

---

After a few of the episodes, Marci's explained a few things to me, and we're both happy sitting here watching. As a new one is about to start, she starts talking, looking over at me. 
"I was thinking," she stopped for a second. "Where I would be if I wasn't here."

This got my attention. "Where do you think you would be," I look back over at her, smiling a little. 
"I don't know," she starts, but I cut her off.
"Well, that kind of defeats the point," we both laugh a little. 
"Well, you didn't let me finish," she quips back. "Anyways, I would probably still be here honestly. Maybe not here in the organization, but I've been here my whole life. This area, sure I've left a few times, but I've always come back. I might be living in some other country though, after all I am adventurous."

"That sounds nice," I comment, Marci nodding her head in agreement. 

We go back to watching the show, both of us intently waiting for what happens next. Well, more so me, Marci already knows what happens. 

Eventually, I see that it's got quite late, and there's also a head on my shoulders. Looking over, i see Marci fast asleep, the TV still playing. I take the remote from beside her, and turn the TV off, laying her down onto the pillow. 

Going to leave, I feel her grip on me tighten as she's still asleep. I guess I'm staying here tonight.