Family's not forever

Food🤮(9)

TW: Food, Throwing up, Eating disorders, blood, intrusive thoughts

(Wilbur's POV)

"KIDS, DINNER" I slowly walk towards the dining room. "Can I eat in my room tonight? I have some music stuff I'm working on" "That stuff can wait, You can eat down here tonight" I knew I wasn't going to win this one so I just go sit down. Mum walks in carrying 6 plates. She places them down and everyone begins to put stuff on their plates. I put a sausage and a small amount of vegetables on my plate but mumza just puts more on my plate saying I need to eat.

Everyone eats and I pick at my plate taking a bite or two every few minutes until I have eaten half the stuff on my plate. "May I be excused?" "Um, two more bites of sausage than you can go" (Please don't make that sound weird)

I eat two more bites, show mum then throw out the rest of my food and put the plate in the sink. I run upstairs and go straight into the bathroom and trigger my gag reflex.

After all my dinner is in the toilet I flush, rinse my mouth and wash my hands and sit on my bed looking out the window. I put on Smaller Than This by Sara Kays on my phone and connect my AirPods. (Not sponsored)

[start song here]

I wake up early, sometimes at 5:30 to run

My mom got too worried, I had to tell her it was fun

Oh, I feel like a failure if I don't skip breakfast and lunch

I'm chasing a body I know that I'll never outrun

'Cause I'll always wish I was smaller than this

And I just can't quit pulling at my skin

Oh, I'm scared that I'm never gonna like

How I look and I wish I knew why

'Cause I'll always wish I was smaller than this

I'll set a goal for myself and I'll try to work hard

I'll reach it but swear I look just like I did from the start

I know that it's not true but I feel like I'm the only one

Who's chasing a body I know that I'll never outrun

'Cause I'll always wish I was smaller than this

And I just can't quit pulling at my skin

Oh, I'm scared that I'm never gonna like

How I look and I wish I knew why

That I'll always wish I was smaller than this

I was smaller, I was smaller, I was smaller

I wish I was

I was smaller, I was smaller, I was smaller

I wish I was

I'll always wish I was smaller than this

And I just can't quit pulling at my skin

Oh, I'm scared that I'm never gonna like

How I look and I wish I knew why

That I'll always wish I was smaller than this

I don't realize until after the song finished that I had been crying and digging my nails into my arm, I pull my hand away from my arm, where 3 of my nails had been there was blood, I grab a tissue and a 2 mickey mouse band-aids and apply the band-aid carefully. I run my face underwater to clear any evidence of my crying.

'You should drown yourself'

'No one cares about you'

'Nobody would notice'

I quickly pull my face away from the water and grabbed my guitar and start strumming random notes for my new song, soft boy.

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Sorry for the shorter chapter, nothing I tried to do after fit in with the theme of the chapter. Eat, sleep, breathe and shit like that. Byeeeeeeee