𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄 ! 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐎

visages du passé (c. sturniolo)

↳ summary: in which returning to massachusetts was harder than you could've imagined. or in which coming home to chris after six years was more difficult that you ever thought possible.

↳ warnings: swearing and i think that's about it.

↳ author's note: welcome to book two of elysian!

↳ author's note pt 2:  title loosely translates to faces from the past in english from french.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

reader's pov

i stood, clad in the same pair of converse, overall a nearly identical outfit to the one i wore when i left, as i stared at the withering skeletal structure of the place i once called home. six years ago, i took off. i was sixteen, tired and ambitious all at the same time. i was itching for a change of pace. i was itching to leave the complicated mess that grew of my friendship with chris. it was april 17th 2016, i packed a bag and left my parents a note saying that i felt like i wouldn't make it out of boston alive and hopped on any buses and trains i could afford. if i had stayed, god only knows what i would've done.

i heard from familiar faces passing by in a blur that after i left, my parents got a divorce and both moved out of my childhood home. they felt like me leaving was their fault. god i wish i had explained better.

i pulled up my texts with nick, one of the two people i had ever made an effort to keep in contact with, sighing as my thumbs hovered over the keyboard. unable to come up with something merely half decent enough explaining i was back for an unknown amount of time, i pocketed my phone and looked down the street to the only place that could ever be considered a lively and functioning home in a dead end town. grabbing my bag out of my car, i locked it and placed the keys inside my pocket before taking off down the street.

once the looming shadow of the sturniolo residence made its way into my view, i called nick, telling him to check his mailbox because i sent him a letter. i tucked my phone and keys in my bag and waited for the door to open. as nick made his way outside, i couldn't fight the sense of nostalgia creeping its way through my chest.

"can't believe you actually thought i'd send you a letter nick. you know me better than that. i fucking hate writing letters. they're so cliché." i called out as i stepped over the cement barrier lining the edge of their property, causing his head to whip around, eyes widening as if he had been caught in a set of headlights.

"when the fuck did you get back?" he yelled, running over to me and pulling me in a tight hug, the quick thrum of his heartbeat and sniffles engulfing me as i hugged him back. his hold was tight and scared, as if i'd disappear into thin air again.

"i just got back maybe half an hour ago. i've been internally fighting with myself to go inside the old house, my mom got a hold of me about six months ago and told me the spare key was in the same spot and that i should at least take some of the memorabilia from the basement if i ever decided to come back." i replied, a callous shrug following as we made our way toward the door.

"not that i'm unhappy you're home, i need to know why you left and why you back so suddenly?" nick questioned as we crept up the stairs leading from the back door. i opened my mouth to answer but before i could, a cold and distant voice sounded from the top of the stairs. a voice that sent both a chill and a shiver of warmth down my spine simultaneously.

"i guess she got tired of hiding from the consequences of her actions." chris retorted. i didn't have to look to know he was firing daggers my way. i could feel the icy stare as i kept mine cast downward.

"chris." i whispered, slowly meeting his gaze as i chewed on the inside of my cheek, my heart hammering so rapidly inside my chest i thought it was ting to beat right out of my ribcage.

"yn, why are you here? it's not like you tried to act like you remembered us while you were gone."

"actually chris, she kept in contact with me and-" nick spoke, causing me to roughly smack his arm, sending a threatening glare his way.

"nick shut up." i hissed through gritted teeth, not wanting chris to know that he was the only triplet i didn't hold up contact with.

i had spent well over three hours catching up with the sturniolo family, minus chris, and talking about my time in new york and california.

"i knew it was you. when we went to cali madi said she saw someone that was identical to you walking around and when she pointed the person out, i was dead set on it being you!" matt laughed, causing my face to go bright red at the fact that i hadn't stayed as low as i hoped i did.

"yeah, her and i met up not too long before i left after nick had introduced her to me through a groupchat of just us three in case i needed someone while i was in california."

"was i the only person you didn't stay in touch with?" chris spat, his chest starting to heave as he looked at me, his stare sending a wave of nausea and hurt through my body.

"chris i-"

"no don't tell me you're sorry and that you tried to keep in touch but couldn't because it hurt 'too much'. if you're going to say anything, it be better why you left me! or why you couldn't tell me you loved me."

"i left because i hated it here! i hated boston, chris! i hated it here because you were falling in love with me and i couldn't love you the same way you! i'm sorry chris, i couldn't stay here and face you after breaking your heart."

"so you thought leaving was better than being honest?"

"i'm sorry chris, i really am."

and with that, chris took off to his room, the sound of his door slamming shut cause me to jump slightly, leaving me with the bitter aftertaste of word vomit and raw, unimaginably real heartbreak stinging my throat. tears welled along my waterline as matt pulled me into his side, his hand rubbing up and down my arm as i tried to keep my tears at bay.