𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄 ! 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐎

de connaître des choses comme l'amour (m. sturniolo)

↳ summary: in which matt still grapples with the devastating loss of his girlfriend, y/n.

↳ warnings: angst. angst. angst. ANGSTTTTT. death of main character, car crash including flashbacks, matt dealing with survivor's guilt, swearing, panic attacks, mentions of hospitals, night terrors. get your tissues ready.

↳ author's note: title loosely translates to to know things like love in english from french.

↳ author's note pt 2: based off GHOST OF YOU by 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

THIRD PERSON POV

for a good chunk of his life, matt had things planned out for him. nick would wake up before both him and chris, plan their day then relay the plans and activities to the two younger triplets, and matt would roll with the punches with a minimal amount of disagreement.

then y/n came along, and she'd plan out dates for them, things they could as a group, and so on and so forth. matt was much more willing to go along with those plans.

matt could count on someone in his life setting the plans for the day. he could count on people directing him where to go and what to do. everyone in his life was reliable.

what he couldn't rely on, was idiotic drivers t-boning the passenger side of his car, killing his girlfriend on impact. leaving him there, limp and bloody with his dead girlfriend beside him, her hand still in his.

what he couldn't rely on was the ambulance getting to the scene of the crash in a decent amount of time, forcing him to hear the screeching of rubber on reply in his head.

what he couldn't rely on was his night terrors and panic attacks, he was living in agony not knowing when they'd creep up his spine, forcing him to shoot up straight, choking back sobs and gasps of airs until he was shaking so violently that he'd double over and empty the contents of his stomach on the ground.

he was no longer the same person he used to be, and it was destroying him.

HERE I AM WAKING UP, STILL CANT SLEEP ON YOUR SIDE

matt was woken from a deep slumber by vivid flashes of light behind his eyelids, followed by glass shattering and y/n's laugh getting cut short as the other car made impact.

sighing, he ran his hand down face, forcing himself to look at her side of the bed. he felt tears well along his waterline as he saw it in the same state that it was in the day she died, eight months ago. he hasn't had the heart to remake her side of the bed or to even touch it, knowing she wouldn't be coming back to mess it up.

pursing his lips, he hastily wiped his eyes, and climbed out of bed. flicking on the hall light, he stumbled into the kitchen. he sat at the table, flicking through his camera roll, watching the countless videos of his girlfriend laughing and smiling, bringing sorrowful tears to his eyes. unable to help himself, he picked up the glass of water he had grabbed himself and chucked it at the wall before dropping to the floor and bringing his knees to his chest, his body completely wracked with broken and choked-up sobs.

upon hearing the crash, chris made his way up the stairs, knowing he'd find matt in the kitchen. as he turned the corner, the sight broke his heart. seeing his brother curled in on himself, choking out sobs that were heartbreaking enough to bring the toughest man to tears.