Impostor (Worthless #2)

3- Patching up

I woke up feeling really lousy. My head hurt. I was so dizzy that I had to double check that I wasn't in a merry-go-round. My sight was foggy, so I didn't know where I was.

Memories hit me like a boulder. The voice. The shadow. The blood. There was a lot of blood.

I felt a pinch in my left arm. An IV. So I was at the hospital. Although that didn't made things easier.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps aproching me. They sounded familiar.

"Hola, cariño. How are you feeling?"

I reconized the soft, gentle voice that could convince you that everything was gonna be ok even if you'd fallen from a cliff. I reconized the curly, brown, uncombable hair that was just like mine. I reconized her uniform, her movement, her scent of desinfectant and freshly baked arepas...

"Ma-Mami?" Was all I could manage to say.

"Yes, mi amor" I could practically hear her tears "Are you ok?"

I was ok if you compared it to what I'd been through. I could probably walk away and move a few flowerpots if I wanted to. If it wanted to. 

But, then again, wasn't it over? At least, until I grow up?

Can't I be a kid for once? Every cell in my body told me to let me be mothered.

"Mami, it hurts" I didn't mean to, but I started crying. It would have said I was weak, but I couldn't help it "It hurts so bad."

"Ay, mi niña" She sounded completely heartbroken "My poor little girl"

She took my hands. I felt her warm, familiar touch.

"Do you want me to give you something to sleep?"

"Yes" That was all I wanted. A night without haunting nightmares or sleepless hours crying. "Please. But, don't leave me alone..."

"Of course, cariño" She pinched something in the IV and my eyes suddenly felt really heavy. 

I was already half asleep, but I could have sworn I heard her add "I couldn't forgive myself if I leaved you again"

And with that I fell asleep.

Next morning was a bit merrier. I was sitting in the bed while mami desinfected the wound in my chest and I winced. She blew gently and started singing.

"Sana, sana, colita de rana. Si no sanas hoy, sanarás mañana"

That song soothed me. I let her finish quietly.

Right then, three people entered the room. One was my father and the other two were my sisters. I smiled.

"Mira!" My sisters speeded up and jumped to sit next to me.

"Careful, girls" Mami said while putting back the rubbing alcohol in her bag "Mira needs to rest, remember?"

They nodded solemnly, but then turned eagerly to me as if they hand't heard anything.

"Look!" Luisa handed me a wrapped gift.

"We made it!" Isabela said proudly "Tía Alejandra helped us a bit, though. And Tía Pepa showed us how to wrap"

I tore the wrapped open revealing a little bag. It was crocheted and purple. Flowers of all colours wre embroidered in it. It was so wonderful. It looked just as if it came straight out of my dreams.

"Woah, thanks!!!" I hugged them, until Mami pulled us appart under the excuse that I might burst my stitches. "I love it!!! Gracias!"

"And this is from Milo" Luisa handed me a hand-written card that said "Get wel sonn"

"So much for ortography, I guess" I bursted out laughing.

There we were, three sisters reunited, our parents watching lovingly while they cuddled. Everything seemed... Nice. Way too nice.

"Amor, are you ready to talk about it yet?" Papi sat in front of me and held my hand.

That was the question I'd been trying to dodge the whole time. I didn't want to talk about it. And, of course, I couldn't tell them the truth. If they found out that I was helping to rise the monster that they fought so bravely... I would be the family disgrace. 

No. I couldn't bear to dissapoint them like that. I'd just dance around the truth.

"It was dark, so I cound't see who it was." My heart went quicklier. I grasped Papi's hand tighter "It wasn't the first time it met me. At first it seemed alright, but it turned worse. Next thing I knew, I couln't run away. It started hurting me. That night, it went too far. But I think it's over"

Everyone seemed on the verge of tears.

Mami went closer and, breaking all of her own rules, held me in her arms and started rocking me. Tears stained her face. She looked at me with so much love that I felt so ashamed of myself. They all loved me so much and I was there betraying them all. I felt like an impostor.

Mami held me closer to her. I couldn hear her heartbeat. The movement was making me sleepy. She unleahed her pretty singing voice.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are grey

You'll never know dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away"

I fell asleep in her arms.

I went home a few days later, but it didn't feel like home. Tía Pepa and Tía Alejandra were still heavily pregnant. Pepa was about to have her third kid, while Alejandra was struggling to keep the first one until the third trimester. It was her first time making it. Everyone was still the same. Everyone but me...

I spent my days in bed, still too weak to move. My sisters and cousins played with me everyday. Camilo brought me homework.

"Hey, prima!" He said one afternoon "I brought you a surprise!"

He threw a pile of worksheets in my lap

"Extra Maths? That's your surprise?"

"No, silly." He gave me a cookie wrapped in paper and a little bow. "Guess who gave it to me for you?"

I stared thankfully at the gift, but I was clueless.

"It's from Gabriel!!!" He pretended to kiss someone "He wishes you a speedy recovery and sends you a hug!!!"

I blushed. Why was Gabriel Reguera interested in me, of all the girls in the class? Perhaps he was just a worried friend, but the little bow said otherwise...

"Tell him that I say thanks" I said.

Julieta's POV

She was staring at the mirror in her bathroom, the water running. Noise calmed her. It overcame the voices screaming in her head.

Tears were running down her cheeks. She washed her face with cold water. She was shaking.

"My poor girl. It's my fault. I thought they would all be safe. It's my fault"

Suddenly, she found herself in a dark and red place she knew well.

"No..." She mumbled, her eyes wide open, shacking uncontrollably.

But when she blinked again, she was back home. She kept crying.

"It's my fault... All my fault..."