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After much debating and protests, Phoebe finally agreed on the stupid plan, she agreed to let Max take the spot as bait and push herself aside to work besides Dustin and Eddie away from the chaos that was Vecna.
She didn't want too, she would have much rather it be her but the plan was set in stone and there was no debating to take place, she needed a long earned break so while the others elaborated further she slouched onto Max's bed fiddling with the letter in her hand, she felt guilty, not because of the plan or using Max but because Max had wrote everyone a letter and she hadn't even called her mom to tell her she was safe - even though it would be a lie.
She was far from safe, she was in much more danger then the past few times they had dealt with the upside down, her life was now on the line and she wasn't so sure she would make it this time, she picked up a pen and paper that was situated on the younger girls bedside table.
Her mother didn't need a note, Nancy however did. She didn't know what her sister was feeling or how she would react if she did happen to die but when Vecna had Nancy she was distraught, she couldn't imagine what Nancy would be like if she did die or even Eddie.
She shook her head crumpling up the empty paper, she was strong, stronger then any words on paper. Nancy would hate a note, she would hate that kind of goodbye.
"Hey Pheebs, can i come in?" The soft voice of Eddie sounded throughout the room, she looked up sighing.
"Yeah." The door opened on command and he strolled in his eyes full of sorrow "We've got a plan set in place, just need to get those guns."
She nodded uncrossing her legs and motioning him to join her on the bed, he slowly sat beside her taking her hand in his hold.
"This plan is us not running." she whispered "we've just got to try not be fucking heroes..."
"trust me i've got that one in the bag" he winked "how are you feeling about it all? Are you okay?"
"im really scared Eds." she admitted "I've never felt like this before, this fear. This time i cant see a ending for me, for us. I just want to go back to your trailer and stay there forever, i just want us to have our happy ending with our five kids and maybe even a picket fence life with them, marry you and die growing old together. I just don't see it Eddie and it terrifies me and its because i love you I've never felt like this before, I've never actually loved someone before and it scared me and now its even scarier because now i have someone to live for. I have you and im fighting for you. My family as well of course but god you just..."
"Phoebe..."
"No Eddie just let me... I just, I want to go back to that night in the diner, i want to meet you all over again and never bring you into this mess."She held in a breath before continuing, her mind going into hyperdrive with fear once more "I love everything about you Eddie Munson. The worst and best parts of you, i don't even care that you go weeks without showering or that sometimes you hide my underwear under your bed and you'd never admit it because you know i'd call you a perv, you listen to ABBA because i beg you and you cook me shitty chocolate chip pancakes when i wake up in a mood and that to me is the definition of perfection. I love you so fucking much Eddie like a serious unhealthy amount of love, i don't think you understand just how much i mean it i mean if i was in a room with Tom Cruise id still chose you - id always chose you, always."
