All I've ever wanted

40

Sebastian POV:

Camila is pregnant.

Like a real live baby inside of her that I helped create. That's insane.

Not going to lie, I'm feeling very nervous about it.

When she told me she was pregnant and lost our baby my whole world shattered. Not only did I break her heart and act like I forgot about her the last three years, she had a traumatic event happen to her and I wasn't there. For my selfish stupid reasons because of my fathers words. I can't help but feel like it's my fault. If I never had those girls on me that night, we'd still be together. If I never listened to my fathers distasteful and disastrous advice for my life, we'd be happy. If I never left her side, we'd still have a baby.

A baby we didn't know about. I feel tears sting in the back of my eyes but I push them away. It's the only thing I can do because I deserve to feel this pain knowing I'm what caused her to spiral into rash decisions. She deserves more. Way more than I can ever offer her and If I have to work for it and improve myself for her for the rest of my life, then I will. I don't deserve her.

Although, she is my everything. The way she reacted towards my family, she's very strong willed. I was impressed with her actions with my father and blessed that my mother and her got along.

Italy was an incredible experience with her, despite the drama we had, I had the best time all because I was with her.

I don't know what I'll do about the Mafia, because I know my father always has the last word. But fuck it. Fuck all of it.

My main priority right now is my family.

Family

Camila is pregnant. Holy shit.

Cazzo. Fuck

Running a hand over my sweaty face I'm brought out of my thoughts as Coach John blows the whistle. I've been here practicing since six in the morning and it's now a quarter till noon. He's busting our asses because none of us practiced or worked out like we were supposed to during break.

"Alright attention everyone! You are all literal disappointments! We've been at this for hours now and it's not getting any better! We have two more days to practice until our next game. Two days! You better make sure you're all hydrated and ready to work because we have another practice tonight and I'm not taking no for an answer! You're dismissed!" He shouts and slams his clipboard on the court leaving a loud noise linger in the air. Shoes squeak immediately indicating the team is running off to the locker room. I can barely feel my legs and my calves are burning.

I grab my white rag that's on top of my duffel bag and wipe the sweat off my face.

"Yo you good?" Liam asks me. The guys have been asking how I've been nonstop since we got back on Sunday. It's Tuesday and I state the same answer I gave them yesterday. "I'm fine"

I don't want to tell them I'm stressed out because of my father. Or how I could end up cut off if I don't join him soon. I don't tell them that Camila is pregnant because we decided to withhold on telling anyone until she's farther along. I don't tell them that I'm at a breaking point needing to be drafted this year because it'll set the future straight for Camila and I.

No, I keep it to myself and act like I'm totally fine.

Liam narrows his eyes at me not believing me for a second. I did tell him Camila knows about me being in the mafia and how his family is involved in it too. He was in straight stupor because he knows what this means for our family and what it entails for Camila and I's future. Which stresses me out even more.