365 pt 2

jul.30.22

It's interesting, how small things – as ordinary and simple as they seem – can take you down a rabbit hole of thought.

I'm currently working my "nine to five", and I still have a long ways to go. I had to take an extra strength ibuprofen when I got to the job place, because, to quote a quote I should coin: "I am Mother Nature's least favorite child."

Also, because some wires in my brain don't connect well enough, I have to chew my ibuprofen into smaller bits, then chug a bunch of water in order to take them – I do not recommend it, it's fucken disgusting – and since I had not been expecting to take painkillers today, I didn't bring anything to get the taste out of my mouth.

Candies are usually something I've been meaning to carry, but I always forget.

This little thing – candies – got me thinking about somebody I went to school with. For the sake of the story, I'm going to call him Aragorn. (Because why the heck not?) Aragorn was a sweet tooth; ever since I knew him, he always had candy on his person. It didn't matter what kind, either. Candy was candy.

As we got older and went to high-school, Aragorn less and less had candy – there was once day I can remember, when somebody asked him for a Werthers and he said he was out, it was like a bomb had gone off.

I graduated a year before him, and I didn't see him as much. I went to a beer blast with a different "friend" – they're a stranger now – and, wouldn't you know it, Aragorn was there, too.

He was drinking, as was everybody, but every twenty or so minutes, he'd go with a group of these guys who were notorious for being dealers in the side of their football jock personas. And Aragorn wasn't watching them smoke and snort and whatever. He had joined right in.

At the time, I thought they'd made him cave. Those jerks corrupted him.

I've learned candy, or something sweet, can help calm cravings. Smokers turn to candy or gum when trying to quit, ex druggies try to get into something sweet, and on a movie once, I saw an ex alcoholic constantly have lollipops in every scene in an attempt to stay sober.

Maybe from a young age, Aragorn knew he wasn't going to win his battle with drugs. But he just attempted to prolong the start date.

I don't know what he's up to today. I heard he might have graduated, or he dropped out just before school ended. A year after that, I'd heard he was dealing.

And now, that was six years ago.

I hope he's doing better. I hope he's okay. If I knew where he was, I'd bring him the biggest candy stash he'd ever see.

But yeah. All that – the past coming back to haunt me – triggered by a craving of candy.