So, it's been over a month since I've written anything in here. And I'm thinking this will be my last chapter in this book. So let's try to make a long story short.
On the 26th of September, my eldest brother, Joshua Curtis Ryser, was killed in a car crash, up in the Hart in Prince George BC.
It doesn't feel like a month's gone by.
It's been weird trying to cope with it, to accept it – whatever the fuck that means – and I haven't had the energy or the drive to write anything. It still doesn't feel real. I still don't have the motivation for much. I'm taking the rest of the year off of work, because I can't trust myself to be safe on the job with my head all a mess.
The point of this book thing was to write one post every day for a year. I've missed days, and tried catching up in the days after. But I'm calling it quits with this one. I can't focus well enough to write, so I'm not going to force myself to write stuff I can't even begin to put my heart into. And since I've missed a whole month, I feel like I've failed. So I'm throwing in the towel, so to speak.
I just wish life was better, that all the shit that happened didn't. I still feel like I'm walking through a nightmare that I can't wake up from. People keep telling me it'll feel better eventually, but I don't know. I don't know anything. Hell, I thought I knew who my brother was, but even now, I'm learning a lot about him I had no knowledge of before. The ground beneath my feet is warping, and all I can do about it is put my arms out in an attempt to steady myself.
My head is starting to hurt again; the constant headache is resurfacing.
So, I guess this is it. I'm going to continue writing, I know; I wouldn't be able to make it through life without it. But, it'll be in my own time, when my inner self feels comfortable with it. Once I'm ready.
Thank you to everybody who's been keeping up with this. Who's been following along and reading the shit I write. It means a lot to me.
So, until the next project, PEACE.
YOU ARE READING
365 pt 2
Non-FictionHere's a continuation of 365, the story where I do my best to write SOMETHING every day. Wattpad has a chapter limit of 200, and that was reached on July 19th. So, the rest of the year will be written in this, I guess. The first 200 days of the year...
