Muted Anguish

CHAPTER 17: THE CONFLICT

Father had suffered another heart attack and had been admitted to the hospital. He was to stay there for some months till his conditions improved. I hadn’t for once gone to see him despite mum’s pleadings. She had this rather ridiculous notion that he would get better if he saw me.
“Miss McFallen!” Claudia sounded surprised “Welcome home”
I’d arrived at my family house in Canada. My parents were absent. The perfect opportunity had availed itself. I stepped into the mansion and looked around briefly. Not a damn thing had changed about the large house. The entire place still lacked life. It was just how father liked it. Quiet.
“Good morning, Claudia”
“Shall I ask James to fetch your bags from the trunk?” she asked dutifully
“No” I responded, heading for my dad’s study upstairs “There won't be any need for that”
“Okay then, I shall have Molly prepare your room for you. I-I’m so sorry Miss April I wasn’t expecting you to be here without notice…”
I stopped on a stair and turned to look at her “That also won’t be necessary, Claudia. I won’t be staying long and by that I mean I won't be spending the night here”
A brief frown of confusion crowded her forehead
“Get back to your duties”
Bowing obediently, I watched her return to the kitchen before continuing my ascent

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(DAYS LATER)

“Welcome guys” I chirped excitedly as Keisha and Cameron stepped into my uncle’s mansion bearing gifts and a bouquet. It was my birthday and I was throwing the biggest party on campus. Uncle Luke was off to the Bahamas for a vacation or whatever but I’d been granted permission to host the party all the same. Truth be told I’d been granted anything I asked since the suicide attempt.
“Hey, April” Keisha pulled me into a hug and handed me the gifts “Happy birthday,” she said sweetly then held me at arm’s length “I got you some nice products from Milan and Victoria’s Secret… thanks to Cameron’s credit card” she winked at him.
“Aww, thank you so much” I replied appreciatively. It was no wonder Cameron was in love with her. She was so nice and sweet.
“Alright, alright can you move please?” Cameron said playfully. He was talking more now “I have to greet the celebrant too”
Keisha rolled her eyes and moved away, responding jokingly “Whatever, jerk”
He stepped forward and stretched out his arms in front of me, smirking “How’s the birthday girl doing?”

I stepped into them eagerly “She’s alright” I lied, relishing the feel of his body against mine.
He patted my hair and whispered “Happy birthday, April” then he looked at me intently “Are you sure you’re okay?”
I wanted to tell him that I wasn’t. I wanted to tell him that I was madly in love with him. Staring right into those beautiful violet-blue eyes made me want to confess it all to him but I couldn’t.
I nodded and moved out of his embrace, looking away “I am. Thanks for asking" My heart was beating wildly in my chest and I could already feel my cheeks burning up. Clearing my throat, I managed to force out “Thanks once again for the gifts I really appreciate having both of you. Feel at home”
As they walked to the living room, I stared after them enviously.
It should've been me with him.
It should've been me in Keisha’s place.

Frustrated at my loss I walked to the bar section and requested two shots of tequila, neat. I'd barely perched on a barstool when I heard what sounded like an angry grunt beside me. Turning to my side to see what made such an unpleasant sound, I was met with a dashing young man nursing a bottle of booze. I followed his gaze and realized he was staring in Cameron and Keisha's direction.
"Careful," I said, initiating a conversation "That one's taken"
"Yeah" he drawled and shifted in his seat to face me "Too bad"
I was met with an attractive face which consisted of a strong jaw, full brows, an almost perfect mouth, straight nose and brilliant green eyes. He looked vaguely familiar.
"Hey... I know you" he squinted, raking a hand through his black hair
Of course, he did. Everyone knew April McFallen. My suicide attempt also further helped boost my popularity on campus. I was no longer April McFallen, the VC's niece, I was now April the girl that almost jumped from the science centre.
I downed my shot of tequila.
"You're April, right?"
Bowing my head slightly, I replied in a flat tone "In the flesh"
He nodded and raised his bottle "Happy birthday"
"Thank you" I looked at him again, trying to place where I'd seen him before. Perhaps at an outing? Perhaps he had been one of my one-night stands?
He turned back his attention to Keisha and let out a sad groan before taking a long drag from his booze.
"We both seem to have one thing in common" I stated, downing my second shot of tequila "We're miserable"
"What's your story?" he asked
"I'm in love with someone who's in love with someone else"
He released a guffaw "Well, welcome to the club, honey" another guffaw "I could've made my move when I had the chance. There was a time I was her comfort zone for weeks but I chickened out. Now I've lost her forever and I'd give anything just to be with her" he lamented "Where I'm from, they would've called me a coño"