Muted Anguish

CHAPTER 11: EMPTY THREATS

What the fuck was going on?
Pissed as hell I stalked to the door and forcibly pulled it open. Harvey stood at the entrance looking down at his phone.
"Brother" I called his attention and he looked up
He flashed his phone at me and entered the house "Nice speech. It's blowing up everywhere" he dropped to a sofa "Everyone's talking about it"
"Let them talk, I said my mind" I responded casually tightening the towel around my waist.
"I see I caught you at a bad time"

Harvey slipped the phone into his back pocket and smirked "Oh yeah and was that April I saw leaving your house?"
I flopped into the sofa opposite him "Yes. She even tried to have sex with me"
"Whoa" he chuckled "From your pissed expression I gather she didn't succeed"
"She didn't"
"Why? Cause you're still in love with Keisha?"
I didn't respond
"I thought you said she moved on already? With the Spanish guy"
"Don't"
"You should move on too. Look at you Ron, you're a mess, is that a stubble I see? And why did you let your hair get to this level?"
"You don't think I'm trying?" I got up on my feet "Believe me I'm trying, I just can't. Nothing is working, hell, take a look at my face Harv, take a fucking look at my face do I look okay to you? I haven't even been sleeping"
"Have you taken something?"
"I don't want to. I feel like I deserve this-this punishment for causing her pain"
"That's bullshit y'know" he stood up "You sure you don't want me or any of the home boys to move in with you?"
"No, Harv. I'll deal with this shit on my own"
He sighed "Just go talk to her, man"
"What if she doesn't want to see me?
"Look, Cameron you're my brother and I love you but if I hear another "what if?" outta yo mouth I'm gonna hit you"
I heaved a sad sigh "I'm miserable, Harv"
"Do you want me to speak with her?" His tone had turned serious
I shook my head negatively
"Then get your ass to her dorm damnit"
"I will... I just... I just need time"

KEISHA'S POV

I was alone in my room. Bethany was off somewhere, I wasn't paying much of an attention when she was muttering her whereabouts. My mind had been occupied lately.
Running both hands through my disorganized hair, I paced the room. A week had effortlessly blown by since Cameron gave Julian and I his 'blessings'. Speaking of Julian, I'd been avoiding him. It wasn't fair but I presumed he understood.
Well, if he didn't understand, I didn't care. I had other things to care about. To worry about.
Never had I been hung up on any guy before. Maybe it was because I was always utterly terrible at maintaining good relationships or maybe it was because he was different. Cameron.
I felt like I needed him.

Groaning loudly, I plopped on a couch, my face falling into my hands.
Get yourself together Keisha, I mentally scolded myself.
Pull yourself together, damnit!
A knock sounded at the door. Lazily I dragged myself from the couch and went to get the door.
It was Cameron.
"I want you back, Keisha" he said immediately. Before my brain could come up with what to say.
Underneath his eyes were dark rings and bags. His hair had grown longer and he was looking bigger, like he had been working out more, not that him appearing bigger was a bad thing.
I was concerned. He looked unwell.
"Cam-Cameron?" I faltered in surprise "Come in"
He nodded and stepped in, turning to face me as soon as I shut the door behind us.
I wasn't dressed well. A baggy flannel shirt was all that covered my modesty.
I removed a band from my wrist and used it to pack my hair while walking to the fridge in the corner of the room "You want something to drink?"
"No, thank you" he replied looking around the room as if searching for any indication of a masculine presence... Julian
I cleared my throat "Okay, so..."
"Keisha" He started
Geez, even his voice sounded different. A bit hollow "...it kills me that you're with Julian"
I was about replying that I wasn't, I had never been but I shut my mouth and listened to what else he had to say.
His hands were loosely tucked into the pockets of his leather jacket. Though he looked a mess with the tousled hair and tired eyes he was still ridiculously hot.
"I haven't been able to get any.. " he made eye contact with me "... sleep"
"Yeah, obviously" I gave him a once over "Explains why you look like shit"
"I hate myself for pushing you away. I've been. I've been um, having haunted dreams and it's been..." he gesticulated bringing his hand to ear level and making a rotating motion with his fingers "It's been fucking with my mind"
"Oh, that's messed up"
"I miss you, Keisha. I miss you so much it hurts" Cameron placed a hand over his chest "It hurts right here"
"How's April?" I replied evasively, not wanting to make it obvious that I'd missed him too "You two looked pretty close on the field" I tried to hide the tone of jealousy from my voice.
"There's nothing going on between April and I"
"You expect me to believe that when she had her hands all over you that day on the field?"
"Yes"
We were both silent for a moment
"There's nothing going on between Julian and I" I fessed up, breaking the silence.
Cameron stared at me with an expression of utter confusion "What do you mean? You guys are together"
I shook my head, going towards him "No"
"No? I saw you guys kiss a-and cuddle and do couple stuff"
"It was all an act to get you to come back to your senses. I've never had feelings for Julian... just you"