This Year is My Year

Eddie Munson Exposure Therapy

Robin was rattling on, thrilled at the idea of her new fake ID, her ability to go to the city with us now. I tried to focus on restocking the shelves, flipping over a copy of a movie with a strange-looking David Bowie on it.

"And could you believe how excited Eddie was to go dancing? That means you know that this is a good idea."

I thought back to Eddie's uncharacteristically good mood this morning. How he invited me to sit with them, laughed with me. It was almost eerie, like the start of a horror movie.

"I'll tell you; it was about time for them to seal the deal—"

I spun around, almost dropping the tapes in my hand.

"Wait, what do you mean?"

Robin winced, trying to turn away from me to face the register. I stormed over, putting the tapes on the counter and coming to stand right in front of her.

"Buckley, what do you mean 'seal the deal?" I could feel heat build in my ears as she looked up, smiling weakly.

"I mean, well," she got embarrassed, trying to organize receipts, not looking at me, "Well, when we were leaving breakfast, she told me that she and Eddie, well, last night, Eddie surprised her with this whole romantic set up by the lake, and well, they, you know, one thing led to another and, well—"

She continued to rattle on, lamely explaining what she meant when I thought back to breakfast.

Eddie had paid for everyone's meal, insisting that it was on him. He and Y/N's hands had remained connected the entire time, and they were stealing glances across the table. I thought about his sudden warmth to me, his good mood, and insistence that I should join them on the trip to the city. No wonder he was in a good mood.

I remembered when we left, the girls were lagging behind, whispering to one another. Eddie and I awkwardly waited together, near our cars, as the Robin and Y/N squealed, and Robin made Y/N promise to call her later. Realization sudden overcame me, and I felt hollow.

"Y/N lost her virginity to Eddie Munson?"

"Steve, you thought Y/N was a virgin?" I looked to Robin who was no longer embarrassed for oversharing, but rather incredulous at my comment. I felt my stomach drop and my face flush.

"She wasn't?" I asked this weakly, quietly. Robin stared at me like I was the stupidest human to ever live.

"She lost it like, four years ago. When you were juniors – I think at one of your parties."

My heart sank. I looked down and Robin scoffed.

"Harrington, you've got to get your shit together," she started scanning returns. She was annoyed with me, like the night we all hung out at Eddie's. "Plus, she's been on the road for two years, you don't think she met a handsome vagrant along the way?"

"Why wouldn't she tell me?" I felt foolish, feeling like my best friend had left me out.

"Probably because you would act like this," she answered obviously. I felt my face flush and went back to restocking returns.

~~~

I was a firm believer in exposure therapy for Steve Harrington.

I rolled my eyes as he turned back to the shelves of movies, reshelving Labyrinth for the sixth time. He was moody, acting like a kicked puppy, wanting me to make him feel better about Y/N having a life outside of him.

I loved Steve – he was one of the best friends I had ever had, listening to my tirades and giving me advice about girls. But when it came to Y/N, he was unrecognizable with jealousy and delusions. It drove me crazy – his constant rants about Eddie, how Eddie touched Y/N, why Y/N liked him, Y/N's hickeys, blah, blah, blah.

So, maybe I intentionally said things about Eddie and Y/N to Steve "on accident" – like I said, I was a firm believer in exposure therapy.

Plus, Y/N was so happy.

I was just as surprised as Steve was when she started to spend time with Eddie. Y/N was the kind of girl that drew everyone in, someone who could make anyone feel special. Eddie was a drug dealer with a problem with authority, who almost intentionally made you feel uncomfortable. He was always nice to me because I was in band, and he could sense I was an outsider, but I could see how he made other people feel.

But listening to how Y/N talked about Eddie in the first couple of weeks of their relationship, about how thoughtful and kind he was, I decided to give him a chance. And I am glad I did – I've ended up really liking Eddie, especially with how he treats Dustin and I, knowing how important we are to Y/N.

Now, how he and Steve got along? That needed some work.

"Harrington, quit sulking," I chastised. He rolled his eyes at me, huffily going through the tapes in his hands.

Until the Eddie Munson Exposure Therapy Sessions, I had no idea how to break Steve from his crush on Y/N.

There were times when Y/N was travelling, calling us every couple of weeks to update us on the newest place she was visiting, and hearing about our lives. While I loved hearing from her, I would almost dread the aftermath, knowing I would spend the next forty-eight hours listening to Steve worry about Y/N, concerned if she was doing the right thing or was being safe enough.

He tried to play it from a place of concern, which I am sure an element of it was. But on more than one occasion, when Steve had one too many beers, he would wax on about how he was the right guy for Y/N, and one day she would finally come around – he just needed to say the "exact right thing".

I didn't know how to kindly tell my best friend that he was delusional – that Y/N was the kind of girl who does what she wants, when she wants it, and if she wanted Steve as more than her friend, she would have already had him.

And then – Eddie Munson Exposure Therapy Sessions.

I didn't weaponize what Y/N told me – I was always respectful of things she told me in confidence. But what would stop me from telling Steve how cute Eddie and Y/N were when I hung out with them the night before? Or how Eddie was helping me learn new sheet music?

I felt somewhat guilty, but it was my mission to have my best friend move to something that would be good for him. He didn't have to wait around for someone who didn't even know that he was waiting. It was unfair to the both of them. And I knew it was working, because he had finally started flirting with the cute girls that came into the store.

Steve spent the rest of our shift in silence, no doubt imagining things that would just make himself angry. We left together, piling into his car as he turned his stereo as loud as possible.

He was playing Peter Gabriel. I rolled my eyes – what a glutton for punishment. He pulled up to my house, glaring straight ahead.

"Alright, you're coming tomorrow night, right? You aren't missing out on my big adventure?" I pleaded. I had miscalculated how long the effects of this Eddie Munson Exposure Therapy Session would last, and I didn't want him to bail.

"I don't know, Buckley, I'll think about it," he was pouting, and I rolled my eyes.

"Steve, you know that you are my best friend too, right? Like it's not fair when you act like this and mess things up for me." I was guilting him, but I was being serious. It wasn't fair.

"No, you're right, I'm sorry," he apologized and ruffled my hair. "I just can't stop thinking about what you told me, I'll get past it. I promise to be there tomorrow."

I smiled wide and got out of the car, bounding to my house, thrilled he had agreed to go.

Because it was going to be one of the most intensive Eddie Munson Exposure Therapy Sessions to date.