Chance on You (Pub 4)

40 - Regret

Many times, Isla compared her day to the day last winter when she left Philly. The traveling time was just as long. She might have been just as scared, but Leo held her hand. Arriving in a strange city overwhelmed her, Leo took care of her and disappeared, like the stranger who dropped her at the diner.

The large hotel looked like the movies. Riley pointed to the breakfast room and a sign for the pool.

"Have you been here before?"

Riley shook her head. "Not here, but we lived in one at home."

Isla let the girl lead them and their luggage to the elevator. It was a juggle, but she wouldn't know how to tip like in the movies. When they reached the door which matched the number on the small paper folder, Riley took out the plastic card and inserted it into the slot on the door. A light turned green with a whirring sound, and like a pro, Riley opened the door. Inside was a small living area with a kitchenette.

Riley walked into a doorway on one side of the room and back across into another. "This is the girl's. The bathroom is bigger."

Isla chuckled, as she walked into a room with a large bed and a luxurious bathroom. She walked across to the other room. The bathroom was smaller, but very nice as well. Would Leo care?

"Okay. Cody put your bag in there." Ilsa pulled her own into the larger room. Riley was already on the bed with the TV on.

Cody unpacked his toys and started playing. The unfamiliar surroundings didn't phase them. Isla looked at her phone wishing for an update. It was too soon; she convinced herself. Sighing, she took out her word search until Cody whined he was hungry. It was dinnertime at home and she felt hungry too. Ironically, the restaurant was the same chain Paul had taken her to.

The children were unfazed by the reason for their trip. They wanted to order takeout and eat in their room.

Isla smiled when Riley said, "Dad says it's cheaper because of the tip, but I like how we can watch a movie while we eat."

They returned to the hotel with meals for each, including Leo in case he came back hungry. The family had never eaten dinner in front of the TV, but it wasn't a normal day.

She jumped when her phone rang, but frowned to see it was Lilli. Isla walked into the bedroom as she answered. "I wanted to check in without bothering Leo. Is everything okay?"

No. "I haven't heard from him since he left for the hospital."

"What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know the details but it's bad. Grave."

"Did he take the kids to see her?"

"No. She's too sick."

"Poor things. She's their mother." Lilli's voice was filled with emotion.

Isla shared her emotion, but couldn't explain their mother had already been gone. Leo shared with her in confidence. Unease filled her, she had told two people. She didn't want to date Paul, but she trusted him.

"Leo will take care of them." He loved them enough for two parents. Isla loved them too. "I should go. I'll tell him you called."

When she hung up, she sat for a few minutes staring at her phone wishing for a text or a call from Leo. It was the kids' bedtime at home, but not in California. If only Leo would call.

After they settled in bed, late for home, but early, Isla sat in the living room with her book. She woke to the sound of the door and sat up. Leo stood looking at her. His weary face and dull eyes told her what she needed to know. He didn't move from the door as Isla debated what to say.

Resisting the urge to get up and hold him, she said, "I have food if you need to eat."

He looked at her blankly. "I haven't." He shook his head. "She did it. She finally let her go. If only. If only she hadn't fought me." He ran his hands through his hair. "I have so much regret." He covered his eyes with his hands.

She jumped up and went to him. "I'm so sorry." She wrapped her arms around his middle. After a few moments, he dropped his hands from his eyes and returned her embrace. They stood together for a few minutes or an eternity. He released her first, and she stepped back. "Try eating. The plane was hours ago."

He nodded and sat on the sofa while she busied herself heating the food up.

His voice cracked. "Was everything alright here? The kids?"

She turned from the microwave she had been staring at and nodded. "They are okay. I'm not sure they understand. The situation is..." She shook her head. Is what? "Um. Lilli called to check in. I didn't tell her anything except she was very sick."

He nodded, and Isla relaxed. She brought the plate of food to him, a pasta dish that she could reheated. He looked up at her as he took the plate. After his first two bites, he slowed. "It's like three years never happened. I'm numb and sad, but also so angry." He put his plate down on the end table next to him. "She forced me into a corner, and the only thing that changed was time. She should have been my wife."

As he leaned forward onto his elbow and put his face in his hands, Isla rubbed his back up and down. "You protected Riley and Cody. That's your job."

He turned his head and looked at Isla. "She wants to see them. Tomorrow, I'll take them. She's going to plan the funeral she wants, not what Autumn would have wanted. A church. Nature was her chapel. She wanted her ashes spread on top of a mountain. One more battle to fight."

"Not next to you?"

He shook his head. "Good thing cuz I lost that right."

"Try not to look back. Focus on mourning."

"I thought I had mourned enough, but it feels so real. The pain is gripping me."

"What can I do?"

He looked at her as if she were a stranger. "Just be here for my kids." His voice cracked. "And me."

She wrapped her arms around his waist and put her head on his shoulder. "I will. You know I care about them."

"I know. What would we do without you?" He turned to her and shifted her, so he held her too. Leo buried his face against her neck. She held him tight offering the comfort he sought. They stayed together a long time. Isla felt his pain, as her chest ached. Her love seeped out. If only it could act as a balm.

She opened her eyes when he shifted and pulled away. His face looked like a shadow with dark circles under his dull eyes, and whiskers on his face. Unlike Zach, Leo shaved every day. Isla touched his cheek.

Her voice came out thick. "I wish I could take your pain away."

He reached for her hand and squeezed it. "I know. We need to get some sleep."

"Will you?" She really wanted to ask about his nightmares. "Cody's in your bed."

He nodded. "I'll be fine. I hope."

Isla felt a chill as he stood. The weight of his day caused him to sag and look smaller. He turned for his suitcase he had left by the door. She pointed to his room and sat until he disappeared behind the closed door.

She lifted his almost full plate. After walking to the sink, she scraped the food back into the restaurant container and rinsed the plate, before setting it aside to be cleaned in the morning. Yawning, Isla hoped to sleep.

It had been years since she had to share a room. She had never shared a bed. Maybe she read too many books, as she wished to share with Leo not Riley. Although the thought scared her.

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