Self Rival • Completed

xxxviii. the depression

The next day on his rest day, Arthit rejected his friends' invitation to go out and have some fun probably to drink out with their juniors, preferring to stay in his room instead and think to himself again after a confusing day he shared with Kongpob. 

Arthit locked his door, just in case his parents saw him going through their stuff and worried over him. 

He didn't know if being confused after a few minutes of sharing with an ex was normal. It should've made him move on but here he was  instead, stressing over it. 

With a sigh, Arthit dropped every content of the box Kongpob gave him on his bed and looked at it with a forlorn expression. 

Kongpob returned him every single clothing Arthit let Kong borrow and the clothes he purposely left in Kong's apartment if Arthit wanted to sleep at his place again. Kongpob returned every every single stuff Arthit left in the younger's place– utensils, lunch boxes, pillows, and Knot's DVD's.

All the things Arthit bought for Kong are all here as well, even the cinema ticket from their first date. Arthit picked it up and had to sigh to himself when the single worn out paper reminded him of their moments together in the cinema. How Arthit was so giddy to feel Kong's arm around him and his head on Arthit's shoulder. 

Arthit shook his head to clear the memories, now turned bitter, in his head. He remembered that day how K gave him those advice. Bastard! Kongpob's such a bastard. 

Arthit's frown deepened when he saw Kongpob's copy of them on the photo booth during their arcade date. They looked so happy. They were very happy at that time. Arthit could still remember how Kong looked adorable when he was playing those arcade machines like it was only the first time he went to that place... Maybe it was. Arthit looked at his copy still on the upside frame on his bedside table. He didn't give it back because he thought... because Arthit didn't want to. 

With a grit of his teeth, Arthit snatched the photo strip along with the tickets from his bed. He also grabbed his copy.

Then, he looked at the papers in his hands. He could just easily shed them into pieces and threw them outside, he could burn these papers, he could crumple them... he could move on easily in that way if he just burned these but in the end, Arthit put them in his book while he decided to think of what he's going to do about it. 

When he went back on the bed, Arthit picked up the puppy pinch cap he gave Kong at the day Arthit confessed his feelings to him and asked if he could court the younger. Arthit lightly sniffed, feeling his incoming tears. Kongpob looked so adorable that day. 

Kongpob also put all those stuff Arthit bought for him from the day they went to play dodge ball at the trampoline park and laser tag. There were also all the stuff they bought after eating dinner outside and the ingredients book they bought because they were both fond of cooking together. Just looking at the ingredients book made him remember all their moments in Kong's apartment– every time they cooked together, they were so happy, Arthit was always happy even when he's only doing a simple thing with Kong. Even when they're only talking, Arthit was the happiest.

He sniffed and wiped his tear away. 

Kongpob also gave him back the book Arthit bought for him. It was the book he saw Kong was fondly looking at. Kong told him the book reminded him of his mother. Arthit now realized it's probably his real mother he was thinking at that time. 

Arthit shook his head to stop the pitiful thoughts towards Kongpob. Those thoughts would only make him regret his decisions. 

A small smile played on his lips when he saw the keychain he gave Kong, he pinched it in his fingers and sighed.