My Winter

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Nicolas' pov:

I briefed Winter on the way to the meeting. Letting her know we have a plan to get rid of Lucien for good, and that we just need everyone on the same page. We took my Range Rover this time and behind us were my men. We are preparing for a all out war. I need everyone right now. I grinned as I saw 10 vehicles behind me with all my men. It made me feel powerful. Knowing that all those cars behind me are mine, and the men in them are willing to die for me. And what made me feel even more powerful... was turning to see my queen sitting next to me. Readying to go to war with me. But I don't want her on the battlefield.

Yes, she has a lot of training under her belt. And yes, she knows how to use a gun, but that doesn't mean I want her out there. I don't want to take a chance on her getting hurt. I don't want her to have hurt or even worse... kill someone. She's to precious to me and if she hurts someone, she my never forgive herself and I'll ll never forgive myself for letting her do that. I don't know if she's expecting to go with me on the mission. I hope she isn't. As much as I want her by my side, fighting with me, I just can't risk losing her. But, my gut is telling me... I need her. There. With me. And I wish I knew why.

My parents have always taught to trust and listen to my gut. In my line of work, you can never take a chance. And every time I listened to my gut, it's never let me down. But now I feel stuck. This is the one time I'd ignore it, and I'm worried about the outcome. What if she's the key to win this?

"Whats wrong?" Winter asked with concern in her voice.

I looked at her and shook my head. "Don't lie. I can see the wheels turning in your head. Something is bothering you."

I scoffed and smirked. I can't hind anything from her, can I? I took her hand, with my eyes still on the road, and tenderly kissed it. "I'm just worried."

"What do you mean? Why would you be worried?"

I let out a deep sigh, massaging her knuckles with my thumb, deciding on what to tell her. I feel anxious and I feel like I have a tug-of-war going on in my head. The one side telling her, and her insisting she goes and I give in and bring her. The other side is not telling her, she doesn't go, and she's safe. But I don't want to lie either.

"Nic?"

"After this meeting..." I clenched my jaw. damn it. 'let her make her own choice.' the voice in my head said. Probably the "good angel" thing or whatever.

"Yes...?"

"We're going to the meeting place with Lucien, as you know." I saw her nod in my peripheral vision. "I'm guessing you wanted to go?"

"Yes." she answered without hesitation.

"Why? I don't want you getting hurt, Winter. I want you safe. I can't bare to lose you." I tried reasoning, hoping she'd just change her mind. But no. She's to stubborn.

"And I can't bare to lose you." Her voice cracked slightly. "I understand the risk of getting hurt or worse. But I'd rather be by your side, fighting with you, instead of worrying if you're coming home or not. I couldn't live with myself if I do nothing. Nic... you're the best thing that has happened to me since mom died. Just as much as you can't lose me... I can not lose you. I'm your queen. I ride or die with you baby."

I think that's the hottest thing she's ever said. I bit back my lip to keep from smiling so big but I couldn't help it. I pulled over immediately, feeling the need to give her something. I looked in my side mirror when I parked, seeing my men pulled over behind me. They stop when I stop. They go when I go.

"What's-" before she could say anything else, I grabbed her face and kissed her. She immediately responded. She put her hand in my hair and we just kissed. I wanted to give her so much more, but now wasn't the time or the place. The kiss was a bit rough, but it was full of love on both our ends.