Beyond Logic

III. One Step Forward and Two Steps Back

🎶 Instead of claws, they whisper lies

Sinking fear in quiet steps,

So I will fight in the light

'Til I give my final breath.🎶

- Growing Up, Run River North

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The music blasted into Alexandra's ears as she settled at the back of the bus. Of all the days that her car needs fixing, it ended up on the first day of the semester which gave her no choice but to take the public transit. Some of her friends offered her a ride but she didn't want them to go out of their way just to drop her off. Besides, she missed taking the bus, it gives her a chance to think and to calm her nerves down.

Her first day back was pretty hectic, there are already a lot of readings that needs to be done and advanced studying to do since she will be spending the next weekend working. It didn't help that she made a mistake of opening her mouth in philosophy class. There was no doubt that Professor Dublin was being an ass and since she challenged him on the first day, she was sure that the man may single her out next time. Just as what Sebastian said, she's got a reputation to keep up now.

Sebastian.

Just remembering his name makes her smile. He seems like a great guy. His personality totally matches his good looks. With his dreamy deep blue eyes, towering height, athletic build, and a smile that would make any woman's knees buckle, Alexandra knew it would not be a wise idea to dwell onto unknown territory that she clearly was not ready to invest on.

Girls like her are not made for guys like him. Or at least that's what she keeps telling herself. She was never a believer of love and in her entire years in university, dating is not part of her priority list. To her, it's just a waste time when there are a lot more things to learn and figure out.

As she made a mental note of all the things that she needs to do when she gets home, she heard her phone beeped, signalling a text message.

"Hope your first day ended well. Looking forward to see you in class on Wednesday. :) -S"

Alexandra couldn't help but smile. She appreciate Sebastian's thoughtfulness so she decided that replying to the text message wouldn't hurt.

"Thanks. Right back at you."

Not even a minute later, she got a message again, "Do you have class tomorrow?"

Instead of replying, Alexandra put her phone back in her pocket. As much as she wanted to keep the conversation going, there was no point for her to keep it up since she did not want Sebastian to get any ideas that she is interested in anything more than mere friendship.

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It was past 9 o'clock but Sebastian haven't gotten any reply from Alexandra. He sent her a message earlier hoping to start up a conversation but the way she replied on his first message, it seemed like she wasn't really up for any type of conversation. With that in mind, he couldn't help but replay how they interacted that day. He made her smile and laugh, which, to him, was a good sign. She didn't show any indication that she doesn't want him around. He wondered if he did anything wrong. Or perhaps he just appeared to be over eager.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard his phone buzzed. He got up from bed quickly and checked, hoping that it was Alexandra. Much to his dismay, the text was not from her but from Brianna.

Brianna and him are... complicated. They don't have any sort of relationship that goes beyond sex. They don't use any labels more than satisfying each other's physical needs. Brianna was no doubt very attractive. She was the type of girl that gets all the attention once she walk in - the one that men tend to follow gaze with their mind gaping open. She was the stereotypical life of the party but not too stereotypical that she could be labelled as dumb blonde. She is doing her Bachelor's Degree in Science major in Chemistry and minor in Physics. She is a total catch but Sebastian felt as though the kind of thing they have couldn't go beyond its current state.

Sebastian sighed as he opened the text from Brianna,

"Hey stranger! How's first day back? Care for a semester kick off? ;)"

At the rate he is going right now, he figured that a night out with Brianna wouldn't be so bad. Although he quite admitted to his close friends that he has a thing for Alexandra, he isn't quite sure where it's going. There is no point on dwelling and waiting for her to text back when he can just live in the moment and actually have fun. Convincing Alexandra about his feelings toward her is easy but before he could do that, he gotta make sure that this thing he has for her is genuine and the only way to do that is to see other people. Or in this case... Brianna.

Before he could second guess himself, he composed a message for Brianna, letting her know that he's coming,

"Hey, you! First day's fine but even better now - if you know what I mean. See you in a few. ;)"

He quickly got out of bed, took a few condoms from his drawer and grabbed his jacket before he head out the door.

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It was quarter past 9 and Alexandra was working on the assigned readings for the next day when her phone beeped. She stopped reading and reached for her phone that was sitting on the middle of her bed. It was a text from Sebastian and Alexandra couldn't help but smile as she thought about Sebastian just don't quite give up easily. But the smile on her face easily faded as she read the text he sent.

"Hey, you! First day's fine but even better now - if you know what I mean. See you in a few. ;)"

Clearly, the text was not meant to be sent to her as she didn't reply to his last text message. Whether or not he deliberately did it doesn't matter. It just proved how right she was for not entertaining any more thoughts that goes beyond friendship or even being classmates. It's the first day of semester and better finding out it now than later on. She decided to put her phone away and continue reading.

If there is one thing that makes logical sense right now, it would be focusing her attention to her academic workload.