Beyond Logic

XVII. Served in a Cold Platter

Alexandra woke up the next morning light headed. Perhaps it was due to lack of sleep or the lorazepam she had taken to ease her anxiety and the symptoms of her depression.

After taking a shower and somewhat dressing up, she sent Xavier a text asking if they could meet after her exam. Xavier replied immediately and told her that he would send his chauffeur to pick her up as he has prior commitments to attend to.

It was only when she was in the bus that she started to think about Sebastian. She wondered what she would tell him or what their interaction would be like. But upon analyzing what happened the night before, she was sure that she could continue being friends with him or explore something deeper. Her attraction to him is undeniable but last night was also a proof why they could never be together.

When she got to the lecture hall, people are already piling up and yet Sebastian was nowhere in sight. Either he's avoiding her or he was running late and when it comes to Sebastian, Alexandra could never be really sure.

As she wait for the professor to hand out the exam, she didn't dare look around for she was scared that when her gaze land on Sebastian, all the self-control that took her to get to where she was would just vanish into thin air. So instead, she focused on the task in hand.

There were only few people left in the lecture hall by the time Alexandra handed in her exam. At last, she allowed herself to examine the room and look for Sebastian and yet he still was nowhere in sight. She felt deflated and somewhat disappointed. The anticipation was killing her as she would rather see him sooner than later. Even if she didn't know what to say to him or how she would properly react to what he was going to say to her, she would rather get it over it. The sooner the conversation, the sooner she can move on with her life.

As if her wishes were heard by a higher power, the moment Alexandra stepped out of the lecture hall, she found Sebastian standing outside. The moment his gaze landed on her, Alexandra felt as though all the air in her body escaped her lungs as her heart compensate by the sudden beats on her chest as if it was ready to escape.

Sebastian looked as if he just escaped a war, unlike his usual fashionable get up and his hair carefully styled to match his good looks, the Sebastian standing in front of Alexandra looked like he just got out of a pissing contest. A somber look on his face masked the usual smile that makes Alexandra's knees buckle.

"Hey!" Alexandra greeted far too enthusiastic that she had intended, "where have you been?" she asked.

Sebastian looked at her without hiding the confusion on his face, "I came in late. Do you have time... to talk?"

Alexandra faked a smile, "Yeah, sure."

The two of them found a bench near the exit and they both settled. They sat down way too far apart from each other as if they're making a room for awkwardness that is clearly present with the deafening silence.

"So, what's up?" Alexandra asked.

"Alex, I just want to apologize about last night."

Alexandra felt her emotions heating up but she tried to keep herself in control, "What for? For ditching me or for not giving me any reason why you just start acting weird all of a sudden?"

"There was no excuse for what I did. You have every reason to be mad at me and I will totally understand if you are."

Alexandra sighed, "I'm not mad, Sebastian. I'm just disappointed. I mean, I thought we're friends and a courtesy call letting me know that you have other plans would have been great so I didn't have to spend three hours waiting for you to show up."

"I know. I messed up really bad." Sebastian said as he combed his hair through his hands.

An awkward silence loomed between them as if either of them were calculating their next words and actions and in the end it was Sebastian who broke the silence.