Beyond Logic

XI. The Man with Alluring Eyes

Alexandra woke up Tuesday morning feeling as if she died a thousand deaths. With all the exams and deadlines for papers that are going on, she barely had any time to have a decent amount of sleep and rest. Perhaps, the uneasiness that she was feeling as she tried to drag herself out of bed was also because of the appointment she had with the shrink the day before.

She managed to avoid seeing Dr. Caleigh for almost a year but because she exhausted her last stash of anti-anxiety and antidepressant meds, she had no choice but to call the doctor and had the inevitable appointment. As much as possible, Alexandra tried to avoid her shrink because being trapped in her office reminded her so much of the things she badly wants to forget. Not to mention, seeing the doctor also meant that she had to talk about her feelings and as what she had told every guy that comes close to her, she don't do feelings. But because one of the agreements she had with her dad upon leaving home is that she would continue to see Dr. Caleigh - even if it meant him sending the doctor along with her, she literally don't have any choice but to see her every once in a while.

Alexandra also knew that it was also a good idea to see Dr. Caleigh before she'll actually have a break down. She knew she has been doing well for quite some time now and the medications only acts as buffer and last resort but she knew, just like everyone else who suffers through depression, that the thing with it is that comes like an earthquake with no warnings, no cautions, and no nothings. It would sneak up on her on most unexpected moments and before she knew it, there will only be broken pieces left to salvage and it would take a lot of work to pick herself back again.

Now, as she recuperates from Dr. Caleigh's scrutiny from the day before, she also needed to drag herself out of bed and attend her classes. She didn't even bother putting an effort on making herself presentable. She quickly gathered her hair and tied it up on a bun. She resorted on wearing her dark-rimmed eye glasses that she only wears when she's at home instead of putting her contact lens on. She decided to wear the first thing that she got a hands on which consists of a black leggings, plain white shirt, and a maroon university hoodie that she didn't know that she owns. For some reason, however, the hoodie reminded her of Sebastian and it felt as though she could actually smell his scent on the hoodie. Damn that guy. He somehow managed to get through her like no other guy has ever been before.

She and Sebastian have gotten closer since the night at the coffee shop. He even showed up at her work last Saturday with a takeout from the sushi place and again invited himself to come over at her place. They also spent the entire night quizzing each other on their lessons in Philosophy class. The following day, upon finding out that she didn't have work he somehow was able to bully her into going with him and Aristotle on a stroll down at Seawall. Then, they spent the rest of the day at the university library finishing their papers that are due today. But when Sebastian asked if she wanted to study together the next day, she immediately declined and told him about her 'medical checkup'. Yet, even then, Sebastian still called and text her throughout the day to check if she was okay.

To deny a future with Sebastian is impossible is a complete and utter lie. She likes him. And as much as she wants to admit, Sebastian was the reason why it's almost a month since the last time she had taken antidepressants. Never mind the fact that he was the reason why she took the last set of them in first place.

As soon as she arrived outside the lecture hall, she found Sebastian waiting for her. His eyes were already on her - as if no one else was around, as if she's the sun that brings light into his life. And before she realized what the hell was she thinking, she already felt her face burning.

When she reached where Sebastian was standing, he grinned at her as he hand her a cup of coffee.

"Thanks." She said, barely audible.