Skinny Love - Newtmas

Chapter Nineteen

It feels as if somebody is gripping my heart in their fist.

"Thomas?" I ask tentatively. All I get in response is a hitched breath. I can see Thomas trembling from where I stand in the doorway. Looking at Minho he gives me a sympathetic look before his gaze drops to the floor. Slowly I take a few steps into the room. Minho closes the door behind me and moves to his bed, hugging his knees to his chest.

"Tommy?" Crossing the room I stand a few few away from him. "Is everything okay?" I realize the second the words leave my mouth that I could not have possibly said anything stupider. Thomas is obviously not okay. Digging my nails into my palm once again I tear my eyes away just long enough to glance at Minho who sits on his bed and doesn't try to hide the fact that he's watching everything I do.

Taking in a deep breath I carefully take a seat next to Thomas on his bed. Our knees are only inches apart and I can feel his body heat. Up close I see that Thomas is trembling even worse than I thought. "Thomas please...what's wrong? Just talk to me." My voice has such a pleading, desperate tone to it. Which fits because I'm so afraid that something bad has happened.

Thomas sucks in another hitched breath and his hands shake against his face. Staring at him I try to find the words to say that will make him even acknowledge me. Watching his movements I see a single tears slip from in between his fingers and splash down to the floor.

"Tommy please...please just talk to me. I don't know if I did something or-" I stop short and my eyes widen when I remember Thomas's phone ringing earlier. It has been his mom trying to call him, whatever news she had delivered has to be the reason for Thomas looking so broken. It was stupid to think I had done something, but the question is what did his mother tell his that has him so upset?

"Thomas," I whisper. "I'm sorry...I don't know what happened. But I want you to know you can talk to me."

When once again his response is silence I squeeze my eyes shut, willing the tears forming in my eyes to vanish. Turning my head I open my eyes, blinking a few times to rid them of the tears forming there.

"What happened Tommy?" I ask again, trying to say something that will make him talk to me. But then something hits me. This whole idea was horrible. I came storming in here and probably only made Thomas feel worse; trying to pry my way in and make him talk to me. Suddenly ashamed of myself I stammer, "I...I should go."

Standing I only take one step before I feel a tight grip on my wrist. Looking back I see Thomas's wide glassy eyes staring into mine, looking like a lost puppy. "Please don't go," he whispers, his voice hoarse and raw from crying. Not breaking eye contact I nod and sit back down, this time closer.

"Thomas..." I trail off, not knowing what to say. His name hangs in the air for a few minutes, the silence rings in my ears while Thomas holds into my wrist so tight it hurts, but I don't pull away. Thomas must notice how hard he is holding onto me and loosens his grip before letting go all together.

"So um...when I was younger, my cousin Alexa and I were so close. Like really close, almost like siblings. I was closer to her than I was to my own sister," Thomas stares straight ahead as he speaks, like I'm not even here and he's talking to the wall. "So when we were like nine and ten, we hung out every weekend and talked on the phone pretty much everyday. She was like my best friend." He sighs. Questions are swirling through my mind but I don't dare open my mouth and interrupt him; too afraid he will remember I'm here and stop talking.

"When we got to be a little older and started middle school we stopped talking as much because we both got pretty busy with different friends and stuff. But then as we got older and went into high school and stuff we kind of stopped talking. Nothing happened between us we just...grew apart I guess. But we would occasionally talk on the phone and text and see each other at family events. But then once we both went into college we stopped talking all together. I still feel kind of close to her...but I mean I haven't seen her in like six months so um..." Thomas squeezes his eyes shut as a tear escapes and slides down to his chin.

He takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm down, before he starts again. "So my mom called and uh..." His breathing is heavy and he's squeezing his hands together so tightly they've turned white. "Alexa was driving on the highway and a...a drunk driver hit her car." Tears start flowing from his eyes again and he cups his hand over his mouth. "Her car flipped over three times. She's in the hospital but she isn't responding." Thomas manages to say through gasps for breath and cries.

Keeping his feet planted on the ground he turns so quickly that I jump slightly and wraps his arms around my torso, almost bending his body in half so he's leaning into me. Resting his forehead on my chest and crying out.

His body is shaking so hard I wrap my arms around him in hopes that he'll stop. Seeing Thomas like this devastates me, breaks my heart into a million pieces, but this isn't about me, so I push away my emotions the best I can and try to sooth him. Do something, anything to repair his broken heart. I know there's truly nothing I can do that will take away his pain, but I at least have to try and calm him down.

"Shh Thomas, it's okay. It's going to be okay." Trying to keep my voice calm and quiet I gently run my hand up and down his back whole holding him tightly with my other arm. "Alexa is going to be okay."

Thomas's sobs subside after a few minutes but he still shakes underneath my grip, I stopped rubbing his back after a whole and just held him. Slowly Thomas sits up straight and meets my eyes momentarily. "Are you just saying that, or do you actually mean it?" Thomas asks, his voice quiet but scratchy.

"I mean it. She's going to be okay, many people have survived when their cars have flipped over."

Thomas nods once but looks to the floor again. "It's going to be okay Thomas." Scooting closer to him I snake my arms around him once again. He doesn't move to hug me back but does lean into me.

"I'm sorry I ignored your calls Newt. I should've-" I shake my head no. "Thomas stop. This isn't about me, I totally understand what you're going through...I...I've gone through something traumatic too."

Thomas looks up at me, "What happened to you?" He asks quietly, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand.

Biting the inside of my cheek I sigh, it's about time I tell Thomas anyways. Removing my arms I wring my hands together and look Thomas in the eyes.

"So remember when you asked how I got my limp?"

a/n: TEN. THOUSAND. READS. IM CRYING. I hope you all liked this chapter! I know it's short and really not that good but...Sorry for feels! The next chapter is gunna be pretty emotional.... Okay so really quick I wanted to say that I posted the first cheater to my newtmas kidnapped au called "Captured" and it would mean the world to me if you guys checked it out:) okay I love you all so much thank you for reading. Xx McKenna