Skinny Love - Newtmas

Chapter Twenty One

Thomas pov

Newt and I stayed like this for hours, holding onto one another. Minho came home after an hour and thankfully missed Newt talking about his suicide attempt. Hearing Newt speak those words shattered my heart into a million pieces. Thinking of Newt being so depressed that he actually tried to end his own life makes my hurt ache with pain so unlike anything I've ever felt before. Every time I think about it my eyes start to water and I have to look at Newt and hold him tighter to make it stop.

After everything that happened today and the enormous amount of tears shed I asked Newt to stay with me tonight and not go back to his dorm; I had texted Minho to ask if he would be okay with it and thankfully he said that it was fine.

Minho hasn't said one word since he came back which I'm somewhat thankful for. Minho is my best friend friend (well behind Newt of course) but right now I don't want to hear his mouth. I know in a time like this he can be serious and a wonderful friend, but all I want right now is to be with Newt.

We were going to go to his dorm instead but Newt had said that his roommate Alby might be weird about it. So we lay here, Newt pulled close to my chest with his head nuzzled in my shirt, me with my arms around him. I listen to the soft sounds of his breathing.

"Newt?" I say quietly over the sound of Minho's snoring.

"Yeah?"

"Are you awake?"

"Of course I'm awake." I can hear the smile in his voice.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course Tommy. Anything." I swear I could listen to Newt's soft voice all night. He wriggles out of my arms and moves up so we lay face to face.

"So Christmas break starts next week." Taking Newt's hand I fiddle with his fingers.

"Oh yeah. I almost forgot about that." Even in the darkness I can see that he smiles at me.

"Well...I'm not really sure what you usually do for Christmas. But if you want you can come to my family's house? I'd really like to spend the holiday with you."

"Actually..." Newt pauses for a moment. "Well after the suicide attempt," Newt says the last two words softly. "Well that's when we moved to America. But um...I think my mom and dad had said that they were actually going to take my older sister and go back to London for Christmas this year. They said that I didn't have to go, that it probably wouldn't be a good idea seeing as the last time we all spoke was...you know the whole thing with my grandmother." His voice is full of sadness and it breaks my heart even further.

"Newt," my voice is low and I can hear the sadness lurking behind it. I can't believe that Newt's family is going to leave him behind in America while they go visit his family who treated him like dirt in London. And they told him not to come! On Christmas!

"It's fine Tommy."

"No, it's not fine. I am so sorry-"

"It's fine Tommy. I was upset about it when they told me, but I've gotten used to it." He squeezes my hand.

A wave of hurt crashes onto me. How could Newt's own family do this to him! "I can't believe this." I mumble. I shake my head and close my eyes momentarily even though it's dark. I never imagined Newt having this hard of a life.

"Tommy will you do something for me?" Newt's voice is quiet.

Opening my eyes I mumble a quiet yes.

"If I'm ever feeling sad, don't be sad too okay? Promise to be extra happy for me; because seeing you doubley happy is thing that will make me happy again." A wide smile spreads across my face. Newt is simply too precious for this world.