Skinny Love - Newtmas

Chapter Seven

Real quick I wanted to say congratulations Ki Hong! The wedding looked beautiful!

As soon as I reached Thomas's door I froze, I've been standing in front of it for two minutes, doubting myself. Taking a deep breath I knock on the door.

I hear shuffling inside and the door swings open, "Newt," Thomas breaths out, the smallest smile spreading across his face. "Hi Tommy." I smile back sheepishly.

"Come in," he steps aside and I nod as I pass him. Minho sits on his bed, looking at us. "I'll leave you two alone," he says quietly, slipping past Thomas and I. Thomas closes the door behind him and gestures to his side of the room, "You can sit wherever you want." This reminds me of the first time I came here, when I was too nervous to sit on his bed with him, this time I sit on the edge of his bed and Thomas joins me.

My eyes are glued to the floor as I speak. "I owe you an explanation."

"No you don't I-" I cut him off and look up at him, meeting his eyes. "Yes. I do." I take a deep breath and begin saying what I've thought about for the past four days. "I've never really had friends, never had anyone who liked to spend time with me and I didn't mind. All throughout my high school career I didn't even have an acquaintance. Same thing with college, I'm socially awkward and never really even learned how to have a normal conversation with someone. So that day in the library, when you came up to me, I wasn't sure how to interact with you. I'm always nervous around people, but then with you...I constantly found myself being normal. I became comfortable around you really quickly, and when you invited me to the party, I didn't want to disappoint you or pass up an opportunity to be with you. But not only am I socially awkward, I have social anxiety, in social events I often start to panic. I was having a lot of fun until we stopped dancing and I noticed my surroundings for the first time. Then when we were outside and that guy pushed me...I just didn't want you always having to look out for me, to feel like you have to watch me. And then when we came back here...like I said earlier, I've never even had a friend much less a boyfriend and I've defiantly never kissed anyone before. So when you did that I think I just got scared, panicked, I didn't know what to do in a situation like that, so I ran away from it...literally," I laugh lightly, never taking my eyes off Thomas.

"Newt..." Thomas trails off.

"I'm not done," I say quietly, "and when you said that you liked me, I really started to panic because...because I really like you too and I was so shocked that you actually liked me. And then with the kiss on top of that I think I just got freaked out. I regret running out on you so much. I felt so dumb for leaving like that then I guess I was too embarrassed to come back. I'm so sorry Tommy." Thomas chuckles. "What?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows.

"Nothing it's just that...you called me Tommy, you did earlier too." He smiles, I blush and look to my hands.

"Oh I'm sorry it-"

"No don't say sorry, I like it." He smiles at me. "So...basically, what you're saying is, you like me too?" I laugh and meet his eyes once again.

"Yes Thomas, I like you," we both laugh and Thomas smiles.

"But seriously Newt, I'm so sorry for everything that happened, most of it was my fault."

My stomach is in knots, I don't know what to say so I blurt something out, I don't know why I say it in such a serious moment, but I do. "I...I really want to kiss you."

A look of shock spreads across Thomas's face and I know I've gone too far, I open my mouth to apologize but Thomas speaks before I can, "then do it."

My heart is pounding so fast I'm afraid it might explode, but to be honest right now I don't really care. I slowly lean into him but freeze right before our lips touch. Thomas puts his hand on the back of my neck, "it's okay if you don't want to," he whispers.

Squeezing my eyes shut I rush forward and crash my lips into his. For a moment Thomas doesn't move, but then he kisses me back. The kiss only lasts for about a minute until Thomas is pulling away, he bites his lip and smiles at me. Blushing I look away, unable to comprehend that I just did that, the boldest thing I've ever done in my life, perhaps the best thing I've ever done in my life.

"I really like you Newt," Thomas says, I meet his eyes and smile. "I really like you too Tommy," my words are so quiet and my voice is so shaky I doubt he could even hear me. Thomas slowly reaches over and grabs my hand and I don't hesitate to intertwine my fingers with his.

"So should we just start over? Forget the party ever happened?" Thomas asks.

"No, I don't think we need to forget..." I trail off.

Thomas smiles, "Well, next time we go out it can be somewhere you'll enjoy," he smiles and rubs my hand with his thumb.

I nod, looking to the floor. "You don't have to be nervous around me Newt," Thomas says quietly, letting go of my hand.

"I'm sorry," I say quietly, looking up at him. Thomas shakes his head, the small smile still on his face.

He puts his hand on my cheek and leans into me, just as his lips brush my the door swings open. Thomas jerks away and my head snaps to the door. Minho stands there with his mouth hanging open. "Oh shit! You guys weren't done! Okay I'll uh-I'll go," he stammers. Closing the door behind him.

Thomas rolls his eyes, "You can come in Minho," the door swings back open and he smirks at us. "Fine! But if you guys are gunna be all lovey-dovey I'm outta here," He laughs, Thomas and I join in and soon we're all siting around, talking and laughing.

Thomas and I sit on his bed while Minho sits on his, I've never fit in, but maybe, just maybe I finally found the place I belong. Slowly I reach over and grab Thomas's hand, he intertwines his fingers with mine and squeezes my hand lightly. A small smile spreading across my face I continue to laugh and talk with them until we can't keep our eyes open.

a/n: oh boy, this had so much dialog lol! I hope this chapter was okay:) I know it was a bit short but a lot happened! Again I hope this isn't moving too fast. Also it bothered me how much I used "..." but I feel like it fit in so sorry if that bothered anyone else! I really enjoying this story and thank you to all my readers, voters and the lovely people who take time to comment on every chapter<3 lol sorry for the long author's note (again)! love you guys:D! Xx, McKenna.