Tulisa P.O.V
Fuck I just found my child. Although her face is covered in scares and blood she still looks as beautiful as when she was a small new born. I have regretted not finding her since I lost her but why now am I feeling like I am betraying somebody by being here. The worst thing is that somebody isnt even related to me. I have only known Rachel a short time yet I feel like she my child and not this beautiful girl on the bed. I am I being ungrateful about this blessing. It feels as if it is more of a punishment to be here sitting beside my daughter and that Rachel should always have been my child. God is awarding me but I feel as if he is punishing me. Why now? Why when Rachel has gone missing? I should be looking for Rachel not sitting here! OMG am I listening to myself. I sound like such a bitch. My dad always told me to count my blessing but here I am wishing my daughter was somebody else when I dont even no my daugher. What the name she answers to? Dose she have a boyfriend? What are her parents like? I have millions of questions but I cant ask cause I shouldnt even really be here. OMG I need to get out of here.
Tulisa: Abby ?
Abby: Yeah
Tulisa: Emmh cya
Abby: WHAT ?
Tulisa: I am going bye
Before she could question what I was doing I ran for it. Am I a bad person for leaving my daughter in this state and only caring about Rachel. I just have a feeling that if thats what she is like from one little fight Rachel is going to be worse because of her aggressive problem. I think god has put me on this earth for two reasons. The first is to make music the way it should be and the second is to care for children. I just left my child even do I think god put me on earth to help children but there is a reson for that. God put Rachel in front of my eyes to watch her and make sure she is protected. If I cant do that how am I meant to do it for my own child. My head is messed up right now and I feel depressed. I dont want to go back to my old ways but there nobody here to help. Fazer and Dappy have fucked off to who knows where and Rachel is missing. I am alone! I dont want my mam help and Kaye dont no me like the boys do. How can I live without Rachel, Fazer and Jake around.
At the Dumping Ground
Amelia: Anybody heard anything from Jake or Justin?
Tina: Nope
Killian: Me neither
Liam: No but I hope Rachel is still alive
Max: WDF Liam dont think like that. This is Rach we are talking about it will take a million and one things till she dies.
Liam: She is not superman she is a human anything can kill her like anything can kill us
Max: She not just some human she is a care kid
Killian: He is right us care kids are stronger than any kid with a loving family. We gone threw more pain than them. We can survive better than them.
Liam P.O.V
I badly want Rachel to come home. The place isnt the same without her. There no pushing and shouting. The kids arnt running around printing pictures and poster trying to promote Rebels. I havent heard any of Rach's urban music since the day she went missing. Where the fuck would she go? Why would she go? I am mainly upset cause I just need her. I have wanted to tell her for ages that I LOVE HER! I was to chicken and its just like me to grow a pair the minute she gose missing. I dont want to think that she is dead but I just do. Everything is bottled up inside but I cant tell anybody and I defintly cant cry in front of the yonger kids. While Rach is gone I am the leader no matter what I feel. There is nobody to comfort me because I have to be the big man.
Killian: Liam ur problem is you are defeated.
Liam: Maybe I am
Killian: Rachel though us to never let that happen but of course you would be the one to not take what she says on board.
Liam: What that meant to mean ?
Killian: You where to love stuck to fucking listen to what people preach and yet it turns out you needed to listen.
Liam: What?
Killian: Rachel preached for a reason. She new some day she wouldnt be here and we all needed to know never to let someone defeat us.
Liam: Fuck off Killian
Killian: I am just trying to help but as normal Liam is to loved up to be a man
Liam: I am trying to help
Killian: I should be leader while Rach isnt around
Tina: Liam is only leader cause Rachel and Jake arnt here !
Killian: Well why is he? He not a good leader he is just a follower!
Liam: I am a Leader
Killian: No your not we should have a vote to see who should lead this team in finding Rachel.
Tina: Get the boat. There is no voting! This is somebody life we are on about. What is going to happen is people who have ideas tell the group and then we all decide as a hole if it is a good idea.
Killian: Why do we act as if Liam is leader then?
Amelia: Cause while the threw leader is not around we need somebody there that we can all talk to if needed. Like what we do with Rach.
Although I am pissed at Killian I am chuffed at the rest for thinking while Rachel and Jake arnt around they can come to me. That is real dumping ground cred. Not being a bully like in other care homes. Still we better find Rachel soon cause I dont know what any of us care kids will do without our leader.
Are the dumping ground kids falling apart? What is T doing? Do you think T is being ungreatful? Let me know.
Author Note: Sorry guys that I have only updated now. Been really busy since I came back from ski trip. Also I hope I update more this weekend. Let me know what you think. Am I boring you? @RJ_Loves_TFB
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Secret life of Ndubz
أدب الهواةThe life's of Tulisa,Fazer and dappy with new characters to come to the world Rachel Jake and Justin . Dumping ground kids and there dream to be big stars just like te idols! But what will the secrets be in this life story...
