To finalize this, whatever this book has been, here we are. "Truth" was gonna be the end, but that was kinda me being depressed the whole time so lets get into it 😍😍
As all of the other chapters there are, it was a spur of the moment idea. I needed to get out my feelings, I needed to get more reads, I wanted to write. Now I have nothing to say. For once in my life, ever since yesterday, I've had nothing to say. No ideas pop into my head in a conversation, its just "mhm, oh yeah i can say that, we talked about that earlier?" I have no ideas, all of it is just blank.
Thinking about the group used to be one of my losses, you know how everyone has that thing they lost that whenever they think of it, it just is sad or whatever emotion. The group was that, just got sad whenever I'd think about any of the members I've lost. That switched yesterday, as some of you may know. A knew thing!! 😍 That sounds like an attention seeker wrote that, am I one? Idk probably, but it sounds like my goal was to attention seek. Like, some of you may know.... chanel shut up. Now, moving on
This isn't supposed to be a mess, actually I don't even know. God, I'd say goodness but Jesse said that. Should I delete this? It's not like I've really said anything, well now I have. I'm trying to decide if I should make this depressing or just wrap it up, because this is the real ending. The "truth" one I was just kinda like 😐 so it came off as that. Now, who knows. I'll talk about the group.
Now I understand how some of you don't see the group as that big of a deal, you have other things going on. For so long, oh my. For so long the group or things revolving it I should say were my main problem, I made it to be. But who cares about old friends when your best friend died? Oh that sounds sad, it is what it is. I hate myself for saying that, I could delete it but it's not because the attention seeking factor, omg okay. Moving on 😝
I don't know where this whole thing is gonna go, it could end tomorrow in a drama or some of us can meet up in a random coffee shop once we're 30. Theres really no answer, that's why there isn't much to say, I can't write a letter for us in the future, or a goodbye chapter. OH MY GOD IF I DIE YOUNG JUST CAME ON WHATBTHECU
Okay, I'm gonna listen to the hippie song. I searched up "sad playlist" on Spotify, omg this hippie song is gonna make me cry. Did my other chapters get across any emotion? One thing I've realized since yesterday is how easy it is for people to leave. Life is often romanticized from movies, and fairytales. Someone I knew, she was fine last year. She had nice thick hair, expensive sunglasses, humor and wit. Under a year she lost all of it, you know? Not to share too much because let's not forget, this is wattpad. But stuff happens, and now it's also hitting me that some of the members are really gone.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not sitting here crying right now over these past members like "omg i really lost them!!" Because I have gotten over it for sure. It's more so the time and memories, all of the time I've spent on you all. More so talking about the past members, all of the time I've wasted for them to just quit.
Dropping all of the depressing shit, the group is okay. It has been all so much, so much has happened. If you look at it through a psychoanalysts view, it's so interesting. All of the different things, all of the feelings, reasons they were caused and looking on how big of an impact they had on everyone and how much it didn't impact anyone at all.
For example, Kelly saying she is the therapist friend in June 2021, everyone freaked out, to Kaz saying she hated everyone in the group In February 2022, nobody cared. It is so weird, because obviously the Kaz one was worse, but depending on the time period and where everyone was at. Nobody cared, also depending on the person who said it.
Okay, thanks for reading idk, I don't like saying that but thanks 😎 i think im around 600 reads now so thats cool, more than SOMEONE ever was so thats ego lifting. is that a thing? idk, also i got moved to like 200 on the #aha so this was kinds pointless but slay
