the shadow in Shadowhunters

chapter 45

clary "i tried, okay?"
clary "i just... i can't."
clary "i'm not ready to just give up on simon."
jace "would you stop for a second, think about what you're doing?"

clary "i am, jace, okay?"
clary stutters "it's like my brain is telling me to do one thing and my heart another and..."
jace "okay. look..."
jace "there was a boy..."
jace "and his father brought him a falcon for his sixth bithday."

clary "are you seriously telling me a story rifht now?"
jace "please, just listen."
jace "his father told him to tame the bird."
jace"make it obedient."
clary "that's crazy."

jace "and the boy would spend every day with that falcon."

jace "it would scratch at him."
jace "make him bleed."
jace "but eventually..."
jace "he earned its trust."
jace "he brought the bird to his father, to show him that the bird would come back to him."
jace "he thought his father would be proud."

clary "and he was, right?"
jace "no,clary."
jace "his father took the falcon and snapped its neck."
clary "okay, that is the worst story i have ever heard."

jace "you're missing the point."
jace "yes... the boy was devastated."
jace "but he realized his father was right."
jace "he was told to tame the bird..."

jace "not to love it."
jace "that's why you have to listen to your head."
jace "if i listend to my heart..."

jace "i'd never be able to do my job."
jace "third rule of shadowhunting."
jace "emotions cloud judgment."

i got my phone out and text kai.
me: get me a bird
kai:  why
me: someone had lost a bird i think they need a new one
kai: ok i will send one to you
me: thank you
i got off my phone

clary "jace if..."
clary "if being a shadowhunter means that i have to be dead inside..."
clary "i'm not sure i want to be one."

we walked into the chince restarant where luke is.

clary "luke, are youokay?"
jace "what happend?"
luke "uh... you should see the other guy."
me "i can help you later."
luke "thank you."
me "no problem."

luke "we were attacked by a forsaken, if you can even call it that."
luke "anyway, it's dead."
luke "it looks worse then it was."
clary "luke, you're hurt."
luke "uh, no."

luke "already healed. perks of being a werewolf."
luke "anyway, i called alec."
luke "he took the forsaken back to the institute for an autopsy."
jace "we've got the best forensic pathologist in new york."

luke "yeah, so i've heard."
luke "clary, what are you doing here?"
luke "now that you have the cup, you know you should be back at the institute, protected."

jace "i haven't taken my eyes off her."
clary "i needed to see you."
clary "luke, it's simon."