More Than You Think

23

It's been days since I found out about Raphael and his brothers. We were in my house discussing how to break this to Erica and Amy.
My brother groans swinging his head back. "Why is this my life right now?"
I look at him, "We are the lucky winners." I answer. "So what if they start hanging out with you guys more. Get to know you, become confuse that you're exactly like their boyfriends. Then... uh I got nothing after that."
"What if we just sit them down one day and see where we are in the relationship?" Donnie added.
Mikey has been quiet the entire time, "What if they reject us?" He asked looking at me.
"I mean they're aren't the only girls in the world... I know it sounds harsh..." I point out.
Mikey's baby blue eyes focus right onto mine, "She's the only girl in my world." I sat there stunned. "Fuck Mikey, why you gotta get deep like that on me." Now I join my brother at staring at the ceiling groaning out as I realize that they aren't just scared of being rejected, they're scared of heart break. "Okay. How about I talk to them first." I began.
I felt all eyes on me but my face is still up toward the ceiling knowing I don't want to finish my train of thought. I knew I was going to bring up 'Rebel' and my feelings for him. Then see if they approve of that, from there I'll find out if they would still like their boyfriends if they were in my situation. "And?" Leonardo asked for me to continue.
"I rather not explain my plan." I say before finally getting up avoiding Raphael's gaze. I still haven't talked to him. I'm not sure if I am still upset, but I do know I feel worse about myself around him than I before. It was bad enough that I slept with him twice after drinking, hurt him because I told myself he deserved better. Then when I meet his true self I couldn't help but let the cracks be seen. My vulnerability peeking through. Feeling more like a hot mess than ever I just can't bring myself to that place of openness.

"Hey... wanna talk?" Raphael's arms wrapped around my waist. He and his brothers left hours ago, but now that it's dark out and he's back.
Turning to face him, "About what?"
His face fell, I knew he felt my coldness but he hasn't let up on seeing me.
"Don wants to see that book about my medical stuff. He ran some labs a few days ago. He has the results but he wanted to add more information or something like that." He clearly changed the subject.
Creating some distance I began making my way to my room, "Yeah. I could download all my results and records onto a flash drive for him. It will be confidential though." I answer. He follows closely behind me.
His eyes are still on me, he's been examining me lately. I wonder if he's looking at me with disgust or just reading my body language. "So, how you been?" He asked still trying to have a conversation. I finally turn to him as the files download.
"Okay am I missing something?"
"The times we had uh you know. Did you ever notice anything weird? Since you know I'm a mutant." He awkwardly admits.
Looking at him, "No." My response was short but there's nothing else to add.
He nods his head as if he wants to say more but couldn't, "Well, I'm just asking cause how you know, I'm a mutant..." he began hinting. The realization as to why Donnie wanted my notes made sense.
"Okay.... Uh one thing at a time." I say not wanting to think about it. With that he left as I brace myself against the kitchen counter. My phone vibrates breaking the endless train of stressed filled thoughts.
Erika: sure sounds like a plan
Amy: I'm free
Vanessa: obviously I'll be there.
I don't respond, I can't even think of one. I told them I wanted to talk to them about "Rebel". It's not a lie, I'm still confused with what to even think about that. I told myself I wouldn't date again, but then he strolls into my life. Making me feel things, "I HATE FEELINGS!" I say out loud to no one.

"So you and Rebel?" Vanessa starts as the girls enter silently and sat down. "I slept with him." I blurted out. Analyzing their faces there was so much mixed emotions that I couldn't tell how they felt about me and him.
"We know you had feelings for him, but uh..." Erika began, honestly I'm scared of where she's gonna go with these questions.
"Did it hurt?" Amy then finished.
I sat there frozen, "Not the first question I expected." I say honestly "I expected something like how since he's a mutant?" I try to lead the conversation.
"He's a big guy (y/n), even bigger than his brothers." Vanessa admits.
Amy then continues, "I mean it's weird that he's well not human. We just want you to be happy."
"Okay... so if let's say one of you liked a mutant?" I start off not so subtle.
"What are you hiding?" Vanessa crossed her arms.
"His brothers like us don't they!? I told you so. The way Myles is always checking on me." Erica excitement then fell. "Wait, what did you want to ask us?"
"The guys feel really depressed thinking that they'll never get girlfriends because of well their situation." I say.
"So what you wanted us to go on a date?" Vanessa did not look at happy.
"No! Just if we all talk to them maybe we could cheer them up." I say.
"I mean if I wasn't with Donnie, Domino might peak my interest." Amy admits making all us snap our heads toward her direction.
"He's really similar to Donnie it's kinda surreal. Sometimes I call him Donnie too, but anyway them being a mutant wouldn't bother me." Amy fell for the worst trap ever created. Although the way she's thinking is making me nervous. Her father hid so much from her. I don't even think she knows that he's paying for Johnny's and I college tuition. She's been hurt by a guy before and I know Donnie would never intentionally do so, but Amy isn't dumb. She has to know something is up. I couldn't even think of a better way to try to bring up the the thought of dating a mutant. Like seriously I even thought about asking how would feel if your boyfriend somehow magically became mutant. They didn't know how it happened, but that wouldn't break the ice that their boyfriends are. Not to mention even if we staged that they became mutant, they already met them as mutants, they'll figure it out. Seriously how does someone ease a person into the fact the person that they're with is not who you think they are.
"Huh, I mean. How different are they from us? Like sure Myles is cute, but I don't know how I'll be able to adjust to his height, or the fact that he has no hair." Erica brought up a point that had been flooding my brain. Raphael and I had sex, twice now, what does that mean with me and my body? Would a morning after pill even work? Could I even get pregnant by him? Would something happen to me being exposed to his altered DNA.
Vanessa then grabs my hand, "Wait, what does that mean to you?" Her question caught me off guard. "I mean I just wanted to see if you guys could help because maybe someone that isn't me could convince them." I answer getting to the fact that I wanted to know if they would even consider dating a mutant.
"Listen (y/n), maybe some people would, you know date them, but be realistic shouldn't they be with someone who gets them." Vanessa said the thing I was scared of, but I didn't need her opinion I needed Erika's and Amy's. I look at them both hoping that they'll jump in.
"Like I said I would in interested in Domino, but then again it's just because he reminds me of Donnie." Amy countered.
Erica followed, "Myles is cute, but I don't know if I would see him like I see Mikey." That one made me panic more than Amy possible being skeptical about this conversation.