Together (Sequel of 'Broken Hearts')

Chapter 19: Nazar

I felt like it had been hours since we had been caught and I wondered what was happening downstairs. Did he manage to calm Ethan down? What did he tell him? A part of me felt guilty, I had been the one who started it. We should have been more careful and maybe lock the door. But he never entered before so why should it have been different today? I sighed, massaging my temple. I closed my eyes, trying to empty my head and concentrate on my breathing to pass time. I must have dozed off because I jumped slightly when I felt a presence in the bed. 

"Ante?" I whispered as I rubbed my eyes.

"It's me... Sorry if I woke you up..." 

"How did it go? You took a long time..."

"Sorry about that... He was really distressed and it took me a while to calm him down... Then we talked. A lot." He explained and I could hear how exhausted he was from the tone of his voice.

"About?"

"What he saw and how different it is from what he went through..." He told me after a second of hesitation. "I managed to make him go back to his room after spending a few minutes looking through it to kill a spider."

If the situation wasn't so dramatic, I think I would have chuckled trying to imagine Ante running behind a spider, trying to kill it. "And then? He understood or is he going to scream and run away when he sees me in the morning?" I asked, wishing he could give me all the info at once.

"Things will probably be awkward and tense but I doubt he will scream or run away. Like I told you, we talked a lot and I tried to explain things in a child friendly way. He understood where I was coming from even if he repeated me a few times that he never wants to love someone. That's something I will have to work on in my next sessions with him. I would have liked to start this part a little later, at the beginning of next year, but I can't wait. Not since what happened."

"Thanks for letting me know. I know you usually don't talk about what you do in your sessions." I told him truthfully. He hadn't told me a lot of things about Ethan since he started his sessions with him but it was great to know he was open to share the important stuffs.

"It's because of medical confidentiality. But for Ethan it's different. Obviously, I can't share every details even if I would like to but I need to share the important information. You are doing a lot too."

I smiled at these words and pulled him closer. "Let's try to get some sleep now. I doubt tomorrow will be as smooth as you like to think." I whispered as I closed my eyes.

I quickly fell asleep, too exhausted to continue overthinking. When I woke up, the other side of the bed was empty and I could feel the sun on my back. I stretched before making my way toward the bathroom to take a quick shower. I stayed under the hot water for a few minutes, letting the heat completely wake me up. I then dried myself before putting some clean clothes on and went downstairs.

"Hey." I said, entering the kitchen.

"Hi. How did you sleep?" Ante asked and I felt a pair of lips on my cheek a few seconds later. He took this opportunity to whisper in my ear that Ethan was sitting on a chair, near the fridge.

"Not bad..." I answered, nodding at what he just told me. "I didn't know you were scared of spiders." I added in the direction of Ethan while sitting on a chair accross from him.

"Spiders are scary..." He whispered after a few seconds.

A part of me was glad he answered but it was easy to hear the tone wasn't the same. It made me feel even worse and I really hoped to win his trust back. He was a cool kid and we used to get along. "I'm sorry you had to see that yesterday. I hope you know I would never hurt Ante. He's the most important person in my life. And I would never hurt you either." I told him truthfully, feeling like he needed to hear it from me. As he didn't answer, I added. "And if you want, I can teach you how to read in braille letters. I remember you told me you wanted to learn."

I felt Ante's hand squeeze my shoulder softly while I was waiting for Ethan to answer something. "Maybe another time..." He ended up saying, making me flinch slightly. I couldn't say it wasn't deserved but it still hurt.

"Is there anything you want to do today?" Ante asked as I heard him put something on the table.

"... No..."

Hearing him like that, closed on himself, made my heart clench and my eyes water slightly. It took so much time and effort, especially on Ante's part, to make him open to us and I felt like I ruined everything for a moment of pleasure. I felt so guilty. A hand on my thigh pulled me out of my thoughts and I blinked the tears away.

"I put a plate with eggs and bacon in front of you." He told me, squeezing my thigh softly.

I nodded and looked for the fork on the side of the plate, easily finding it. I began to eat, not feeling really hungry. When we were done, we washed the dishes and I put my coat on before going on the patio at the back of the house. I sat on the bench that was next to the door and closed my eyes, enjoying the cold air and the silence. I wasn't surprised when, after a while, I felt someone sit next to me. 

"Stop feeling so guilty, you couldn't have predicted this would happen." He said, breaking the silence after a few minutes.

"I was the one who initiated everything. None of this would have happened if I had some self control." I answered with a sigh.

"You're speaking as if I didn't want it as much as you ... But what is done, is done. We can't change the past so now we need to pull foward." He told me before adding. "And I'm sure it's only a matter of time before he wants to spend time with you again. You always manage to make him laugh and he has always been intrigued by you."

I smiled slightly at this, remembering all the time we spent together before he started school. There had been some fun times. "Are you going to do another session with him today?"

"I'm planning to do another one this afternoon. We need to speak more about what happened yesterday and I want to start speaking about what happened to him in the past. It won't be easy but it needs to be done."

I nodded and we stayed silent for a while until he got up and, with one last kiss on the cheek, he went back inside. I heard the door close behind him and I stayed a few more minutes before going back. I took a book and sat on the sofa, trying to concentrate on the braille letters without much success. Time passed slowly until it was time for lunch. And even then, no one talked while we were eating. I told Ante I would wash the dishes so he and Ethan could start their session. I listened to their steps going up the stairs and started the dishes while some music was playing in the background to change my mind. 

I wished I could hear what they were saying and I wished I could participate or do something to help. I sighed, knowing that me being there would probably not help. Today was going to be a long day...