Together (Sequel of 'Broken Hearts')

Chapter 48: Ante

Six weeks. The treatment had lasted six weeks. I had accompanied him to the hospital every day, watching him leave more exhausted every time. I stopped counting the times I had to change the sheets in the middle of the night or the number of creams we tried to soothe some skin areas. Skin changes like peeling and blistering were one of the common side effects from the treatment and sadly he didn't avoid it. But this was nothing compared to seeing the shame on the face of a loved one. Losing the control of his own body had been difficult to accept and all my reassurances hadn't helped him.

Side effects slowly faded when the treatment stopped. The maximum duration was six weeks and there was no point in continuing anyway. It hadn't worked. The tumor had progressed too deeply into the brain to be reached by radiation. He had moved into this hospital room two weeks after the last round of radiation. The pain was becoming unbearable and pills didn't work anymore. Now, morphine was pumped straight into his veins. It was the only thing that seemed to work.

I looked at his sleeping figure with sorrow. He looked so thin and fragile in this big white bed surrounded by machines. A breathing tube was inserted into his nose to help him breathe correctly. I took his free hand into mine when he started to stirrup and kissed it softly. 

"How are you today?" I asked him softly.

"... Okay... Sorry for falling asleep." He whispered in a hoarse voice.

"It's fine. You need to rest." He simply nodded, squeezing my hand slightly. There was no needs for words. We were both pretending that things would get better, not wanting to say the words aloud. "Imogen brought you flowers while you were asleep... Beautiful roses of all colors. Can you smell it?"

"A little, yes... Thank her for me, please."

"She will be back in a few days, you will do it yourself, okay?" He simply nodded and we fell back into another silence. It had been happening more often lately. Even talking tired him now. I looked outside the window which overlooked the sea. The beach was only one kilometer away. So far yet so close. "Do you want me to read you something?"

He shook his head before answering. "No... Just hold my hand, please."

"Are you sure everything's fine?" I asked, observing him. 

I wanted to scream and cry at the same time but I couldn't crack. I promised myself I wouldn't crack in front of him. It would have to wait until I was back home tonight.

He took a few minutes before answering in the same hoarse voice. "I just feel cold... Inside."

A shiver went through my back at these words and tears formed in my eyes. Every day his condition worsened and I could feel him slowly slip away from me. I squeezed his hand a little tighter, being careful not to hurt him. He lost so much weight; I was afraid I would squeeze too strongly and break him. "Is there anything I can do?"

"The beach... I want to go to the beach one last time..."

My eyes switched between the window and the bed. "We will go once you feel a little better, alright?" At these words, he closed his eyes and turned his head, shaking it slightly and I knew it was his way of making me understand he didn't agree. "Nazar..." I whispered but he didn't move. "I-... I will see what I can do, alright?"

"Promise?" He whispered, still in that peculiar position.

"Promise."

A small smile formed on his lips and I looked at his chest going up and down in a constant rhythm. He fell back asleep. I gently let go of his hand and got up to look for a nurse. I saw one in the corridor and walked toward her.

"Hello, I'm here for Nazar. I was wondering... Would it be possible to bring him to the beach?"

Her eyes widened at my request. "To the beach?! You know his immune system is really weak, right?"