𝙳𝚒𝚜𝚐𝚞𝚜𝚝 | 𝙱𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎

Chapter 1

TW:
Mention of suicide
Mention of rape and sa
Homophobia

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POV Bruce:
I wake up to the ringing noise of my alarm, my vision still blurry as I look around my room. I sit up as my eyes adjust to the light. I look at my alarm clock; 06:30. My alarm wasn't supposed to go of for the next 30 minutes. Stupid thing...

I groaned, getting out of bed. If I'm already awake there's no point in trying to sleep again, is there? I walk over to my closet, get my clothes and walk to the bathroom. Turning on the shower I enjoy the cold water running down my body.

After 15 minutes I get out, dry myself and get dressed. I have a quick look at the mirror. I feel disgusting ever since the Grabber touched me, I feel like his touch and hands burned into my skin, it grosses me out. I can't really look at myself, without seeing him and his disgusting masks. I get flashbacks about that fucking basement... I sigh and turn away, rubbing my eyes wiping a little tear away.

I go downstairs to see my mother drinking her coffee. I hug her and mumble a quick good morning and so does she. Getting some bread and cheese I sit down and make myself some breakfast.

My father was at work. Since I got back things were weird between me and my family. I do know that at some point they've stopped looking for me.

Timeskip 7:30 [school starts at 8 cause I say so].

I arrive at the school to see Robin and Billy talking, waiting for the rest of our group to arrive. I wave and run up to them smiling.

"Hey man, how are you?" Robin asks to which I reply with a quick 'I'm good' and returning the question to the both of them for the same answers.

I look at my two friends and swallow hard before speaking up again. "Hey Guys, can I ask you something... A little more Private maybe?" I ask, playing with my fingers, I always do that if I'm nervous. They both exchange looks and then nod.

I sigh, "We three are the only ones of the group that had been... You know... Ra- touch-... Ugh I don't know how to put it. We three were sexually assaulted by that mother fucker." They stay quiet and look at me. "Do you ever feel.. weird or grossed out?" Robin looked at me "Honestly.. it was traumatizing but I think I am okay, not like I'd ever want to experience something like that again!" Robin said and to my suprise Billy agreed, I thought at least he would feel the same. I mean I'm glad he doesn't but... Whatever."Yes, I guess we can still call ourselves 'lucky' that he didn't actually rape us, only touched us, even if it's not so much better." He said and looked at Robin.

Right. I forgot. He only raped me.
I'm glad my friends didn't have to experience that, it was terrible. But they're traumatized too after all, I shouldn't act like what happened to me is so much worse than what happened to the. I know that the Grabber didn't rape them. I didn't want them to know he did it to me.

Deep inside I know that what happened to me was worse than what happened to my friends. I'm not trying to over look they're trauma, but it's just that the Grabber sometimes touched them inappropriately with their clothes on, while he would rip my clothes of, hold me down and...

Whatever.

Robin looked at me, "Do you feel grossed out, Bruce?" He stared at me, directly into my soul. "No, I just wanted to make sure you two don't feel like that." I lied. I wanted to punch myself right now, I feel like shit and could've asked them for help but OF COURSE I can't! I always feel bad for bothering other people with my problems. I'd feel like a attention seeker.

They smiled at me and I just smiled back. We waited ten more minutes for our friends to arrive. We talked for a little while and then went on separate ways to our classes. Robin and Billy alone, Vance with Griffin and I walked to science with Finney.

I think Finney is one of my favorite friends and I feel like I'm one of his too. Or I'd even say we're best friends, ever since Robin and him started dating. They're a secret couple and only our friend group knows that Robin's gay and Finney's.... I think it was called Bisexual? I'm not sure. He likes women and men.

Vance was a little rude but then realized it isn't anything bad. But I wonder how Finney found out about his sexuality.

We sat down and I looked at him. "Hey Finney, can you do me a favor?" I said, still looking at him. He turned his head to face me and said it depends. "Can you help me figure out..." I said looking around for a second and quieting myself "...my sexuality? I'm not sure if I'm straight..." I mumbled.

Finney looked at me surprised but then nodded, saying we can do some research. Apparently that how he found out about himself.

Another timeskip to lunch.

The teacher let us leave ten minutes before break. Finney and I made our way to the school library, making sure no one follows us. We walk into the section where stuff about homosexuality is written. Everywhere slurs written. Fairy, fag, queer. Everything.

We had to be careful, liking the same gender in 1978 can turn out real awful. And if I say awful, I really mean it.

A few years ago, a boy was outed Infront of the entire school. A picture of him, kissing another boy, you couldn't see his face though.
He was bullied. Badly. He would get beat up everyday and they'd call him horrible names, until the decided to end his suffering.
And the worst part is, no one felt any kind of regret. No one apologized. No one felt bad, for making a boy suffer so much he decided to kill himself. They took the little boy from his parents. He was only 12 years old. Terrible world.

"So, tell me about your interest." Finney said, a small book inside his hands.
"Well.. I've had a couple crushes on a few girls once, also a girlfriend but it wasn't anything serious. But lately I've noticed myself looking after pretty guys, but I didn't think much if it.." I saw Finney open his mouth and quickly talked again. "I'm not telling you who those guys were." Finney closed his mouth again and pouted disappointed.

"Maybe bisexual?... Or wait.. do you even care about the gender or would you date anyone based on the personality?" I thought for a moment and nodded at the last statement. "Seems like you're pan...sexual? Pansexual, yeah." I look at him dumbfounded.

"I'm not attracted to pans though?"
He chuckled.
"Nah, it means you like any gender, you just care about the personality."
He says smiling. I look at him and smile back, yeah, that sounds like it could be me.

We look at the clock and realize we've been here for 15 minutes, we're late for lunch, the others are probably already waiting for us. We got up and rush to the cafeteria. When we arrive we slow down.

"Hey, you're not gonna tell anyone, right?" I mumble looking at him, and he nodded. "I would never." He says and I smiled thankfully.

We arrive at the table where our friends sit and join the conversation.

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Words: 1299