𝙳𝚒𝚜𝚐𝚞𝚜𝚝 | 𝙱𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎

Chapter 12

TW:
Sa and rape
Child abuse
Pedophilia
Self harm
Suicide

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POV Bruce:
I woke up at around 5 am laying on my bathroom floor. I sit up and look around, confused why I was there. The moment I stood up I felt aching pain run through my legs as I covered my mouth with one of my hands, the other on the wall for support.

I looked down to see I was covered in blood, it kinda looked like I killed someone. My eyes widened at that time and I fought back my tears. I stumbled over to my sink and started to clean up, luckily I had a lot of time left.

After getting the dried blood of I started to bandage myself, a few tears running down my face at the pain. Did I really do this? It felt good, but I'm regretting it now. I really do. Will I do it again though? Maybe.

It took me around an hour, I was shocked that it took so incredibly long to take care of the wounds.. I mean I do have to admit that they were pretty deep and I've lost quiet a lot blood. I made sure to make a thick layer so there couldn't be any blood coming through. I walked out of the bathroom, if you can even say walked, because it definitely did not look like it.

Arriving at my closet I looked for fitting pants and eventually found some after 10 minuted of desperate searching. I got dressed and looked around in my room.

I decided to leave early so I limped over to my bag, packed my books and went to get some extra bandaged just in case. I walked downstairs and tripped over my own feet, making me fall the last few steps.

"Fuck.." I groaned, it was painful but it's not like I can do or say anything against it. It's my own fault.
It's my own fault for being a overdramatic, used and fucked up coward.
It's my own fault for being a failure and to stupid to do anything right.
It's my own fucking fault that I was touched, abused and raped by the Grabber. I should've looked out.

I don't have the right to complain.
My friends are off worse and I drown myself in self pitying while cutting my thighs and thinking about ending everything. I'm pathetic. So god damn pathetic! It literally makes me wanna throw up.

I stand up and drag myself into the kitchen to get some eggs. I've always loved scrambled eggs, but I don't make them anymore. Everytime I make or just eat it, it's the flat one. I don't even know the fucking name. It's stupid. It's just eggs after all. But in the last few weeks my flashbacks just keep getting worse and worse so I don't want to risk anything that could remind me of him.

I fry my eggs and place them on a plate with some salt and pepper on top.
I love cooking and baking, I always have. It's just so much fun and it's calming.

I eat up, take care of the dishes and get my stuff. I walk out if the door and get greeted by Vance.

"Vance? What are you doing here?" I asked giving him a confused smile. "Well.. I thought it would be nice to walk to school together? I'm not sure I just didn't want you to be alone after what happened with Dan and also I'm still not convinced that there's nothing wrong with ya." He said as he looked at me.

"How did you know when I leave my house?" I asked and he chuckled, "I've been waiting here for around an hour now." He laughed.

I chuckled as we started to make our way to school. We talked about random stuff and sometimes I caught him staring at me. But well, I did it too so who am I to blame? I just don't know why Vance would stare at me. He's got tons of girls drooling all over him. Hold on- did I just assume he liked me? Oh my god seriously what the hell is wrong with me? I mean I'd know a bunch of thing but that?

"Bruce!" I heard Vance yell at me as he hit the back of my head slightly. "What?" I growled. "You passed your classroom." Oh.. I have to stop zoning out it's getting weird.

"Ah yes. Sorry, thanks." I say rushing past him as he stopped me grabbing my wrist.

"If you don't shut up, I swear you will regret it!" His grip on my wrist got even tighter as he pulled out a knife.

"You don't want me cutting your wrist open, do you?" He chuckled. I just sigh and stop trying to fight him. 'This time. Only this time I'll give up..' I tell myself, knowing it will happen to me again anyways.

He slightly scratched my wrist and pushed me down on my knees, him standing right in front of me as he pulled down his pants. "It'll better be fucking good or I'll rip out your tongue.." he said and a few tears escaped my eyes before I closed them and eventually obeyed the order.

"Are you sure everything's okay?" He asked and I nodded to assure him that my lie was true. It was just to easy to fool him and he walked away. Does Vance really trust me that much? That's kinda cute, but also naive.

I entered the classroom, it was still empty. School doesn't start till 8 and it was only 6:48 so I decided to rest my head.

I woke up to Finney shaking me and laughing at me as I opened my eyes and lifted my head. I looked over at the clock, 7:36. "Why are you so tired? I've never seen you sleeping at school." He asked and I chuckled, "Bad night I guess." And we laughed.

Our teacher then walked in and started the lesson. I tried hard, but I just couldn't focus. I keep thinking about the Grabber incident and the pain on my legs. I just want to run away not looking back, but I can't. I don't want to leave mom. I don't wanna leave my friends. And I really don't want to leave Vance.

Vance.. just thinking about him gives me this comforting feeling, maybe I should really tell him? Maybe I should do it? Well maybe I should just kill my- Nope. I'm not thinking about that. But should I tell Vance how I feel? What if he doesn't want to be friends with me anymore? No... Not possible, right? I should do it. Maybe he can help me..

No. That's just stupid.

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Words: 1141
Well, today is my last day on summer break, tomorrow I'm going back to school. I could literally cry, I hate school. But the main reason I'm writing this little note is, that I might have some trouble uploading but I'll try to do my best.<33