Name | Donghyuck

57: Losers

CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN.

Donghyuck thought it was either Jaemin or Jeno who told Jihyuck about his condition but his guess was nowhere near the truth.

Who would've expected that she knew it through her stepmother?

"That's how I know about it," she explained. Her eyes bored into his brown ones, feeling sympathy that he had to go through all of this. "You mind telling me why you skipped your therapies now?"

If one thing she didn't know about Donghyuck, it would be how much he loved her. He wouldn't ever want to lose her. To Donghyuck, no one could love him more than Jihyuck did.

He couldn't tell. Was it because she was a sister of three little siblings or she was just born full of love but every time Jihyuck encouraged him to open up, he did—without him realizing it.

"It's just that I'm too happy lately."

Before she could respond to that, he cut her off. "Life is too good lately—especially after you came into my life."

"What do you mean?" she questioned.

"My brother deserves to be happy too, Hyuck. He died at such a young age, unable to experience the fun things other teenagers got to do. I feel bad for Daehyun," he finally confessed.

Jihyuck's eyes began to shine from unshed tears. She felt helpless. She didn't know what was the right thing to say because words surely weren't enough to comfort people who were grieving.

"I feel like I'm starting to get better—mentally. And things have been going well for me. I feel content with my life. My family, friends, and you."

"Donghyuck," she said softly, stroking the back of his hand. "You feel bad for Daehyun, don't you?"

He nodded.

"Then you should be happy, love," she said. "First, get rid of that mindset that you don't deserve to be happy. You know more than anyone your brother would want you to live your life to the fullest, make your parents proud of you and most importantly, let him go. I don't mean to forget him but don't use him as an excuse to be unhappy in life. You told me he's up there, right? Among the stars. He's watching you and I don't think he'd appreciate you restraining yourself from being happy. From healing."

Tears streamed down his face heavily.

A sense of relief hit her. She wanted him to break down because it was okay to do that—especially with her.

Her thumb stroked his hand. "Cry, Donghyuck."

"Life is just too fucking hard," Donghyuck sobbed on her shoulder.

Her throat tightened. "I'm sorry," was all she could say. She didn't stop tapping his back, attempting to provide the smallest comfort she could give.

He lifted his head, giving Jihyuck access to his red, damp face. "I'm also scared."

"Of what?" she asked softly, wiping his tears with her bare fingers.

"Losing you," he replied. "I don't want to heal because I'd forget Daehyun but how can I love you when I'm unstable? What if I suddenly broke down and shut you out? What if I hurt you because I'm hurting? What if you feel drained dealing with a mentally ill partner?"