I hate you but... I love you| Jimin

28

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"Yeah. This is the end. It needs to be the end." I walked up to him one last time and kissed him gently but shortly.

And without looking back at him, I got out of the elevator and hurried toward my apartment door. Tears rolling down my face.

I could still hear Jimin's words:

"Goodbye, my love. I will never stop loving you."
——

When I entered my apartment, I threw my suitcase in the corner and collapsed on the couch.

It was all too much for me.

I just had sex with Jimin and that was our goodbye.

There were so many different feelings inside me.

It was wonderful to feel him inside me again, to moan his name again.

I felt so fulfilled and happy.

My body finally got what it wanted.

But there was also so much sadness in me.

That's it.

I ended our relationship.

As Jimin said, I buried our relationship.

But did I really?

Does my heart accept that this is the end?

I don't think so...

I picked up the phone.

It was 9 pm.

I hesitated, but I dialed Minhos, the main manager's number.

"Y/n? Everything okay?" I heard his worried voice.

"Hi... Sorry to bother you so late..."

"It's okay, don't worry. Why are you calling?" Minho's voice was soft and soothing.

"I need a vacation. I need a break. From BTS, from Jimin, from HYBE. Just from everything. Would it be possible to get a week or two off?"

"I talked to the guys about you, about your situation. And I know you spent the weekend with them. It's all right, Y/n. Calm down. I give you permission to take a week off. A week, I'll get by without you somehow, because you're insanely important to me, you're a big help. You probably don't realize what an important part of our team you are. So take a break and please come back in a week. I hope you won't decide to leave our team." Minho's voice was comforting. He has always been kind to me and insanely understanding.

"Thank you, Minho, really thank you. You are the best. I promise I'll go home in a week with a clearer head and a more sober mind. I love working with you and all BTS team. Have a good evening." I smiled even though he couldn't see it.

"Good night, Y/n, take some rest."

[...]

I was already lying in bed, sinking into the soft, fluffy sheets.

I held my iPhone in my hands and looked at the flight tickets.

I wanted to disappear from Seoul, from Korea, at least for a while. I need to be in a new environment where I know no one and no one knows me.

My eye caught on one line:

<Sydney, Australia>

Fuck. Why not?

And here, a few minutes later, the plane and hotel tickets for Sydney had dropped into my email inbox.

This is crazy. But maybe that's exactly what I need. To get away from everything and everyone.

The flight is 6 hours away. I need at least a little sleep.

[...]

I packed my essentials and a few clothes in a small suitcase and was on my way to the airport.