Justice or Destiny

Part_25

I remained out of her way because I thought she deserves much better than me. But now when she had pulled me into this mess at the name of engagement I feel trapped and helpless. Sometimes holding on something forcefully makes your hands so much wounded that at the end you feel, it's better to let it go. Though everything was clear but was I ready for the day, when she would leave me all broken and entirely damaged. May be no. She will always be there blooming into my soul, even she would have been gone.

That night at the end feeling defeated I apologised to her. I never said sorry to any one. But here I could do anything for Dadi jan's happiness. I would like to die instead of giving her any pain. But Nandni murthy was in other mood. She was taking full advantage of my agitated condition. Obviously I was feeling embarrassed. When I wanted to leave asap Dadi Jan had other Cupid plans. She asked me to take Nandni with me.

But I couldn't take her with me when already one car was following me. It might be just imagination but my 6th sense was saying something suspicious was going on. I couldn't take her with me. Cause of my dad I already lost my mother. Now cause of me I didn't want her to be dead. She was so precious to loose. I threatened her, tried to do everything to stop her but grandmother was even more stubborn than me. So at the end I agreed to take her with me.

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"You shouldn't be delusional that I'm dying to go with you. It's just Dadi Jan. I couldn't refuse her....!" she said through gritted teeth and now I was feeling difficult to control my anger. Here I'm hell worried for her safety and she was busy into her own games. I glared at her but she lifted her chin up as if challenging me to speak carefully.

I closed my eyes for a moment to clear up my thoughts but nothing was working. Her presence and uncensored mouth was messing with my head. We both entered into elevator, but I couldn't control a smirk from appearing at my lips when she took farthest corner.

"You can give my handy back. No one seeing us so stop pretending to be a gentleman when you are not at all....!" as she finished my patience had crossed it's last limit. Suddenly her accusing words sent bursts of anger to every nerve of my body. Throwing her handy down, I pushed her into the wall of elevator. I think I needed to show her that what I can do to her. Her eyes widened a bit more as I lunged at her.

"I didn't forget that slap....!" I shouted while my both hands hit against the wall of elevator. Her golden brown eyes were seeming to spark with raw emotions. She never missed any chance to brought back that annoyance, I didn't want to feel. I feel so Unwanted, so useless. She never tried to think for once that I was also a human with a beating heart.

Whenever I try to take a step closer that may be I could remove some bitterness from her heart, every time she reminds me that I'm not worth of a single respectable word. She shows me that I'm nothing but just a monster. But sometimes deep down, even monsters also want to be loved by someone. I took a deep breath to control myself. At the moment I have other important things to look after. Someone was after me and there we both were clawing at each other like wild animals.

Without thinking I did exactly the opposite of what I wanted to do. I leaned my face closer to her. I wanted her to look into my eyes. For once I wanted her to recognise that lonely and scared person behind my ruthlessness. Every time I wanted her to pull me out from this suffocating wall, that have been built around my soul. But every time she pushes me back again in the frightening depths of darkness. She would never see my restlessness and my possession towards her. When she pushed me away I knew that neither she would feel my love for her ever nor I will try to show her anymore. I felt ting of my ridiculous and impulsive behaviour as she pushed me away and pressed the button of elevator.

"I...I forgot my folder into Dadi jan's room...!" Pulling her back I brought my lips at the level of her ear. She was trying her best to remain composed but l unintentionally was making it hard for her.