One year

May 22nd

we stopped talking late april roughly two months ago lots of twos in this part we used to joke about angle numbers and no one get it like we did it was kind of like a inside joke it makes me sad but at least i smile about it now we lasted three months before you decided to stop talking to me agian
Same fight as always
I wasnt giving you enough of my time said you didnt feel like you'd had a good conversation in weeks with me or something like that i was honestly not suprised a little hurt maybe but not
suprised i dont know what you wanted me to do its not like i could just quit my job to be with you all the time you said you wanted me to be better and so i got my life together i got my shit together i
dont think you understand how much i was trying to be better i was working long weeks so as to be stable and be better we went on one last drive and for almost the entirety of it you told me everything i was doing wrong and just blaming me for not being good enough you seemed so mad as you said many times you didnt understand why i felt like i could treat you like shit
It wasnt my goal to make you feel like shit never was
when i finnaly did speak after biting my tongue with the things you were saying all i said was
i dont know what to do from here i didnt know what to say to you
i was sad kind of  bitter and tired
tierd of having the same fight over and over again and always ending up in the same spot you have no paitcence for me as you put it and i was tired of fighting a losing battle i think we both knew that night that it was over or at least i did i was really sad that it wasnt ever going to work but i couldnt handle it anymore i think i told you we could still try to be friends but only friends i didnt want to be in a relationship with you not after it all
i told you i needed space time to really heal from this you didnt even give me that and i think when you showed me that you couldnt even give me the one thing i asked the last strings of hope holding me to you snapped all of a sudden it didnt matter if you truley left once and for all
you returned my stuff april twenty seconde i think and then you blocked me and before i rember being devastated
i cried so much the first time you blocked me on socials now i couldn't care less i mean i think about you alot and i think i always will but it doesnt come with the crippling sadness as it once did the only negative feeling left from you is some terrilble anxiety whenever i think i see you and i think its improvement
i can drive anywhere i want without thinking about you i can do the things we used to without getting sad and while i sometimes miss you but in the end i feel happier without you in my life and that kind of hurts to say it was for the better though
Thinking