One year

Day??

Sometimes I miss you
The way we used to spend time together
We would go on drives
We would sleep next to each other
We would smile at each other
We would sit in silence together
I feel like I smiled a lot with you
But I know I cried a ton
Like all the time
With you
Without you
I don't cry too much now
I wasn't ready for what you wanted
I wanted friends
A hoe phase truly
I wanted to find myself
Not a relationship
But I wanted you
I know that I still want you
I want your company
Your smiles
Your car riders
Your body next to mine while I sleep
Hearing your breath while you lay next to me
It was all so comforting
Now all people want me for is sex
You wanted sex to but at least you hung out with me haha
We were so toxic for each other
We wanted two different things
But we wanted each other to
Now look at us
We don't even talk
owie
I miss you sometime
You are a thought in my brain more often then not
I wish we never met so I wouldn't miss you but I don't at the same time
I loved you
Still do
But I don't want to go through it all again
I just want to keep finding myself keep growing as a person
I wish we were friends at least you would've been proud of me once upon a time for getting this far
I think you hate me now
It's cool I guess at least you keep going you didn't get stuck or anything
I told at the beginning I wasn't good in fact I was kind of an awful person I was fucked up
You wanted to believe I was a good person that you could stay with me while I figured it out
I knew you wouldn't last
Not because you weren't strong enough or whatever bs you thought
But because you weren't the first person to think that
I knew I was too fucked up and I would hurt you like I did the other's I didn't know how to fix me so how could you know
I did hurt you I know I did
I remember how angry you got and how upset you were with me
I'm really sorry I fucked it up
you treated me like shit sometimes but you were pretty good to me so I'm sorry it didn't work the way we wanted it to
I miss you and I love you dude
Keep going and don't stop for someone who isn't worth you