One year

October 31st

Someone told me I was a good person... it was the first person to ever tell me that someone thought I was a good person
I have always felt like I was a shitty person that I shouldn't be around others and shouldn't let them be around me because of it but someone actually said I was a good person

That I was a good person because I was kind hearted and loving and helpful
Isn't that crazy like I know I am good to those I care about and I would move hell on earth for them but no one has ever told me I was a good person before
Sure I've been nice and helpful and I care but really it's weird to be told this I always felt like I couldn't be good that I was never going to be good and all of a sudden it's like I don't know I just feel like if at least one person thinks I am a good person then maybe
maybe I am I a good person or at least I have the capability to be a good person it feels like all the work I have put into myself not to be a shitty person is paying off
It's weird to have this kind of hope because I thought I would off my self for lack of better terms by now
But god look at how far I've come I am making it out here
even if the world is burning I am making the best of it and trying to live

and I'm glad I'm glad I get to live through it
I'm glad I get the chance to see the beauty in the little things
I'm so glad to be alive right now that I didn't just end it because it does get better
Not on its own of corse
But with hard work if you want to change you just have to start I've spent nearly two years trying to be better to make my life better and it's paying off tenfold I hope if anyone reads this that what they take from it is while in dark places there is an end you just have to be willing to search and work for it it may not be perfect but god it's so worth it on the other side and it will just get better the longer you work