Boo'd Up (Kendrick Lamar love story)

New York Times

I feel like straight shit. Not flu sick but just moody. I try my hardest to not take it out on anyone and check myself if I do but everything annoys me and I'm hell of emotional. I don't know why. I'm not usually like this.

But anyways, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! It's officially 2013 and great things are to come! I finally graduate and my dream salon will be officially opened in March. The renovations are close to being done. Tasha and Evon said they wanted to takeover decorating the place and surprise me with the finish.

I was hesitant at first but they are my girls, I trust they know what they're doing.

Christmas and New Years, there's not much to say other than I spent a lot of time family. This was our first Christmas in our home and mama wanted to host a little dinner party, which was fun.

Nothing too special. New year eve, I went out with Kendrick and our friends. We brought in the new year already partying it up. It was magical sharing a kiss with Kendrick at midnight. I've always wanted to have that someone on New Years and I finally got him.

I'm in love y'all!

We're in NYC because Kendrick's performing a few songs on SNL. I love SNL! Unfortunately, Kendrick's only there for performing purposes only so no skits. That would've been fun to witness seeing him being different wacky characters but oh well.

Oh my god, I can't fucking think straight. I'm getting more and more upset because I've trying to find clothes to wear but none of them are fitting. I don't understand! I've been trying to put on my favorite pair of leather pants for 20 minutes but it's not happening!

My shirts, dresses, pants, nothing is fitting. I'm literally on the verge of tears because what the fuck?

For umpteenth time, I tried buttoning them but no luck. Out of frustration, I let out stressed scream. Kendrick called earlier saying he wanted to walk around and such after rehearsals and told me start getting ready because picking me up at 1pm.

It's now 12:53pm, and all my clothes are scattered all over the place because literally nothing fits. I know I've been eating good since the holidays but fuck, did I really gain that much weight? I swear I could fit my clothes when we left LA and we've only been here for a few days.

Jeez.

Feeling defeated, I took off the pants and threw them somewhere. I'm over it. The only thing I have that fits is sweats but those are for comfort. I went into the bathroom to look in the mirror and started examining my body. I guess my ass and thighs did get a little bigger but I don't see anything drastic.

I could hear Kendrick's loud ass coming down the hall towards the room. I just went back into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. I put my head in hands, my hair covering my face.

I'm just done.

I heard the door open, Kendrick still laughing about something with someone.

"Man, niggas had me hot! I'm tellin you! I see y'all in a minute," he laughed.

I heard him walk in but stop in the doorway. Now I'm gonna have to explain why our room is a mess and I'm on the verge of tears.

"Sooo...what happen here?"

Tears started releasing but I tried to keep voice stable," Kendrick, please don't."

But he ignored me. He smacked his lips," Baby, I literally called ahead of time and you still not ready?"

"Nothing fucking fits, Kendrick! What the fuck you want me to do?!," I cried.

I probably look crazy. I'm pretty sure I look like a woman in distress and I am. I've been stressed but I've never gained this much weight to the point of not being able to wear anything.