Boo'd Up (Kendrick Lamar love story)

Devil's Work

I wish I can say things had gotten better.

Before Kendrick left for tour again, we and my dad went and picked out a security system. Everything is set up and done. And Kendrick will get any alerts any time I leave and come back. He'd be the first to notice anything wrong, including my dad.

Man, it sucked explaining to my parents about everything single thing. Mama insisted I keep staying with them but I miss my bed. And it's more convenient to just stay home for when I have to work or whatever.

I hate to say it but Jamal strikes again. He and his crew recently tried to target a few more of Kendrick's homeboys. And I noticed I've been getting followed by someone in a blacked out Sedan. When I realized, I was officially scared to leave my place.

He doesn't seem to be targeting family which is a good thing but it's still scaring the shit out of me. I don't know what he's planning on gaining by doing this but it's so fucked up. Because you don't like someone, you target innocent people that has nothing to do with you.

Kendrick had contacted Stacey and they hired on few security guards for me. They escort me wherever and whenever I need to go. But it's still causes me some anxiety.

Kendrick keep trying to get me to travel out to him and lowkey, I'm thinking about it because I'm paranoid as fuck but I'm scared Jamal might change his mind and start going after family. I don't anyone to get hurt.

A few days ago, I had enough and I actually tried to file a report. But because I don't have actual proof he's following me or actually witnessed him doing anything, there was nothing they could do. I begged to the point of me being on a verge of a panic attack. To calm me down, they said they'll be on the lookout for anything suspicious.

It's still not enough so I filed a restraining order which was approved but as official as that sounded, I don't think it'll do any good.

As expected, things only got worse. Ever since I got the restraining order, Jamal has made it pretty obvious he's after me.

Despite me changing my phone number, I still received messages from anonymous numbers. This time it wasn't about Kendrick cheating, they were creepy messages. Like they're watching me, I can't hide from them, and daring me to go where Kendrick was. I don't know if it's Jamal or Vanessa or both or whatever but it's driving me insane.

Going to Kendrick is out of the question. Going to my parents house, absolutely not! These past few days, I haven't left the house and I have my guards take turns on staying with me. I've had to cancel appointments and closed my salon because I don't know if Jamal would show up. I wish so much that I wasn't pregnant or that my baby was here already so she wouldn't be in harm's way.

I don't know what I did to Jamal make him like this or if he just truly hate Kendrick that much but I hate this feeling of feeling trapped. I try to stay calm because it's becoming a normal thing to have pains but it's so hard. I'm scared and anxious as hell.

I know I said life doesn't stop in the name of fear and that's still true but I'm pregnant. And I know damn well Jamal doesn't care about that fact. And he doesn't care for Kendrick, I don't expect him to care for our baby. Ugh, I hate this.

It's the end of July and I'm 32 weeks along. My body hurts. This has been the longest month ever. Kendrick is out of the country, still touring. Poor thing, everytime he checks in with anybody and everybody, there's always something. He has to deal with this mess while touring miles away and acting like nothing is going on.

I didn't tell him about the messages I've received and about them daring me to go to him because he's already so worried. He's also homesick. I can hear the tiredness in his voice everytime I talk to him.