Life, Not Roses

Just One Kiss

everyone is panting,
after having a intense round of pillow fights
digging our hands into chips and pretzels
watching a new show about teenage romance
and giggling about every romantic thing that happened

"Don't you wish something like that would happen to you?" Amitola giggled.
"Who wouldn't..?" Zuri scoffed, taking a handful of chips.
"So.. does anyone have a crush they'd like to do this with?" Layla smirked.
"Fuck yeah!" Jia cackled.
"I think everybody knows who I want to do this with.." Elena giggled, turning to Layla.
"Amitola and Alice..?" Layla smiled.
"Uhm, yeah.." I muttered.
"I guess so," Amitola said playfully, elongating the 'o'.
"Who is it..?" Jia questioned with widened eyes.
"You haven't even said your crush!" Amitola squealed.
"Ugh whatever, it's Mina.." She muffled.
"From English!?" Elena snickered.
"Yes! Now back to Amitola.." Jia smirked.
"Hey Zuri, what's your crush?" Amitola smiled, ignoring Jia.
"Ugh this is so boring everybody already knows.." Layla squeaked.
"It's William, from math class.." Zuri said with a dazing gaze.
"Oh my gosh Zuri.." Jia scoffed.
"Now.. Amitola.."
"Why do you guys even want to know..?" Amitola muttered.
"Someone's nervous.." Zuri smirked.
"Is it someone here..?" Jia whispered.
"I don't know if I like them yet.." Amitola muffled.
"Uh, I'll come back to you.. Alice?" Zuri smiled.
"Ugh, it's none of your business," I groaned.
"Come on, I told everyone mine!" Jia frowned.
"Yeah and I did too!" Elena murmured.

amitola walked off swiftly,
making my head spin,
did i do something wrong?

"What happened to her?" Layla questioned softly.
"What happened, is that you guys kept asking her something she didn't want to answer," I said sternly, going after her.
"I think she went up to her room.." Elena muttered..

i quietly walked up to her room,
thinking of what i was going to say
my heart was pounding
thinking about who she liked
if she thought about someone,
like i think about her
and it made not just my heart pound,
but i started to feel pounding in my stomach too
like every thought she had about that someone
was tearing me apart
until it found my heart,
and ripped it out of my chest
so i couldn't love her anymore.
some part of me hoped for something like that
so the storm in me would lessen,
or so the the voices in my head would go a little quieter,
or that life would stop for just a few seconds more
until i reach her door
and it felt like if i didn't go through,
the voices wouldn't stop
that i'd still be left thinking of the person she longed to be with
and knowing that person wasn't me
and knowing that no one could love me long enough before they turned away
and never looked back
so i knocked on the door

"What..?" Amitola sniffled.
"Hey it's my Alice.." I whispered softly, "Can I come in..?"
"No.. I came up here to be alone.." She hissed.
"Amitola," I sighed, "If something was wrong would you tell me?"
"You won't get it.." She groaned.
"You never know.." I whispered.
"What do you want Alice?" She opened the door.
"What's wrong?" I questioned.
"I just didn't want to answer their stupid fucking question.." She mumbled.
"That's why you're crying..?" I said softly, hoping for a direct answer this time.
"I don't really know I guess.." She looked down at the floor.
"Can I come in..?" I whispered softly.
"I guess since it would be kind of awkward to say no now.." Amitola scoffed.
"So.. are you going back downstairs..?" I asked, fiddling with my fingers.
"Probably later.." She muttered.
"Whatever you're going through.." I informed, "It's going to be okay, I'll help you alright?"
"You promise?" She whispered.
"I promise.." I smiled, letting her latch on to my hoodie.

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it's been like a half an hour,
it's just been us hugging and crying,
mostly amitola was crying,
and i was just tearing up

"So.." I smiled, "What do you think will get you to come downstairs..?"
"Being with you.." Amitola smirked, hugging me tighter.

but this wasn't like the other hugs,
her face was way closer to mine
and her lips were way closer to mine
making my breath get heavier
and i could feel her breath too
she slowly put her hands around me,
and our lips touched,
then someone knocked on the door.