Life, Not Roses

Two Birds

we quickly break apart,
not expecting someone

"Yeah..?" Amitola groaned.
"What the hell is taking you guys so long..?" Zuri hissed.
"Uh, give us a minute.." Amitola said flustered.
"What are you guys even doing..?" Layla opened the door.
"Oh my god, we'll be down in a second.." Amitola groaned, moving away from me quickly.
"You still didn't tell us what took you so damn long, that you ditched your friends.." Elena growled.
"Just you know.." Amitola stuttered, "Doing bestie things.."
"Like what.." Elena hissed.
"Hugging it out." I smiled, grabbing Amitola's shoulder.
"Hug it out faster!" Jia groaned, "We're about to watch the scariest movie ever!"
"Okay be down in 5.." Amitola smiled.
"Whatever.." Layla growled, leaving the door open as they left.
"Uhm.. so" I muttered, "This is definitely awkward.."
"You think..?" Amitola chuckled, putting her hands back around me, "Thank you Alice.."
"For what..?" I smiled.
"For caring about me of course..?" She giggled, "If there's anything wrong, Alice you can talk to me,"
"Thank you," I hugged her.
"You promise you'll come to me?" Amitola whispered.
"I promise," I smiled.

————————————————————————————————————————————————

we walked downstairs,
it didn't feel like before
instead of my heart pounding in fear
it was pulsating with affection
and instead of the pounding in my stomach
i felt butterflies whispering about the kiss
i couldnt feel any better than what had just happened
like the butterflies had made everything bad slip out my mind
like the butterflies made all the voices in my head go quiet
and it was just me and amitola walking downstairs in silence

"Hey guys.." Amitola chuckled.
"Ready to watch the scariest movie of all time!" Jia squealed, jumping up on the couch.
"Hell yeah!" Zuri clicked a button on the remote.

i layed down on the comforters
smiling as elena and layla came back with the popcorn

"Oh shit that scared me!" Zuri squealed.
"Oh my gosh!" Amitola squeaked.
"It's not even that scary.." I chuckled.
"You're fucking insane Alice!" Jia giggled.

i giggled,
and kept watching the movie
not getting what was so scary about it,
it was just about some psycho killing people on halloween
then i felt to hands slither around waist,
i turned around to see amitola smiling at me

"I'm not really scared.." She whispered, "Just needed an excuse to cuddle,"
"Wow," I giggled, holding her hand under the blankets.

i just sat there,
this time i didn't regret it this much
but i still was thinking hardly,
about what we are to eachother
until my eyes lock close
and my breathing slows down,
i feel myself slip into a dream

————————————————————————————————————————————————

there are two birds sitting on a wire.
on the other side of the street,
with the back of them filled with beautiful fields
the grass looked so soft,
like if you fell into it's depth
you would sink into the soft dirt
breath in the gentle smells of daisies
and the sky filled with two shades of blue,
so if you could touch the sky,
swirl it around
you could mix it and make a new color
but when the two birds flew away,
the flowers grew flaccid
and the grass burnt from the sun's ray
and the wire slowly dropped to the ground
so i ran past the road,
and the field turned into a concrete wall,
so when i turned to go back
i saw a car racing towards me,
until my eyes woke me up
my heart was almost pounding out of my chest
and i felt so sweaty,
so i slowly moved amitola's hands
and tiptoed to the bathroom
and ran cold water over my face,
letting the tears blend with the faucet water
i tried to control my breathing,
but it kept flowing out of me
until i started to feel lightheaded
and the light became to bright
i gripped onto the edge of the counter,
trying to grasp the burning that poured out of my chest
until i softly lay myself unto the floor,
letting my eyes go blurry

"Ali..?" Zuri whispers, but I can't respond, "Hey, let's go get some water?"

she helps me up,
leading me to the kitchen where she pours me water

"So, what's bothering you..?" Zuri looks away.
"I've just been having a lot of bad dreams recently ," I mumble, gulping down the water.
"You wanna tell me about this one..?" Zuri questioned softly, I just nodded no.
"I'm going to go back to bed," I smiled weakly, "Thanks Zuri,"
"No problem.." Zuri smiled.

i stumble my way back downstairs,
forcing my eyes closed
but my breathing doesn't change,
i cant feel relaxed
no matter how many times i twist and turn

"Alice?" Amitola rubs her eyes.
"Go back to sleep.." I say softly.
"Why are you awake?" Amitola questioned.
"I'm just having a hard time falling asleep.." I smiled weakly.
"Why are you lying to me?" Amitola said harshly.
"Huh..?" I looked down at the floor.
"Alice look at me.." Amitola grabbed my hand.
"Amitola, you need to get some sleep," I groaned, being strong enough to move my hand away.
"You promised you'd tell me, why are you being so damn difficult?" Amitola hissed.
"They're literally just bad dreams, I'm acting like a fucking 5 year old, is that what you wanted to hear?" I growled.
"Is that all? Why wouldn't you fucking tell me?" Amitola sighed.
"I don't know.." I sniffled, "I just feel like you already have so much to worry about, and this is just so stupid,"
"Stop breaking your promises Alice.." Amitola said roughly.
"I'm sorry.." I said lowly.

i hugged amitola and layed down
she layed down next to me,
resting her head on my shoulder
wrapping her arm around me
as i did the same