Life, Not Roses

Written In Tears

alice's point of view :)

after dinner,
my mother banished us to my room,
i don't know why
but she had forbidden us to come out,
until she had informed us otherwise
though the bathroom was calling me.

"Uhm, Mom.." I slowly crept out of my bedroom, "Can I at least go to the bathroom?"
"What the hell, can't you fucking listen?" She sighed, covering a series of papers.
"What's that..?" I got closer, smelling the burnt aroma that came from the flaming fireplace.
"Go to the fucking bathroom Alice!" She hissed.
"Alright.. I'm sorry.." I was about to turn around as she let go of the papers, revealing Mr. Evens print in bold.
"Go.. what the hell are you looking at?" She gripped the papers tight a second time.
"Is that all from dad..?" I said softly.
"Alice what the hell is wrong with you, get out!" She forced her voice across the room.
"Why are you burning dads stuff.." My voice got quieter as voices that filled my head got louder.
"It's not your dads!" She started to yell, "Go to the damn bathroom.."
"Prove it!" My voiced started to rise.
"Alice, don't make me fucking get up.." She growled.
"Please, just show me the papers." I tried to grab them.
"Alice, get off!" She yelled, but I snatched one of the pages from out of the stack.
I started to read it quickly, realizing it was in fact my dad. "It is him!"
"Don't read it Alice!" She tried to grab the page back.
"No!" I yelled.

Dear Lisa,
I won't be coming back, not to visit Alice, not ever.
I just wanted you to know this before I stop writing back to you, simply because this is honestly silly. I wasn't happy with my life, and now I am and you still want to try and ruin it? I understand Alice may miss me, but she can go through things just as any other human in this world. I had suffered for way too long. I had done everything I could to make sure Alice had a good childhood, and to leave you on your feet so you wouldn't struggle as a single mother, but I can't handle the burden of this family. You and your family can call me childish, but I tried everything to make myself happy in that family. I tried giving her a more American name, I tried putting her in a less diverse system, but it was all too much. My family had always had trouble with you both anyways. If you must know, I have a loving new wife named Karen, and my stepdaughter Clarissa. I hope your life is going as smoothly as mine.

Wish you the best,
John Evens

i read with tears draining from my eyes,
clutching the note with claws
i slowly let go,
letting it drift to the floor

"I have to go to the bathroom, don't follow me.." I said in shaken voice.
"Oh honey.." She covered her eyes.

i stumbled into the bathroom,
slamming myself into the wall
into i fell onto the floor
like if someone had jammed a hammer into your gums,
letting the tooth fall into the sink
and later feeling the empty gum,
where you know something was supposed to be
but when you look into the sinkhole
there was nothing but darkness
i couldn't find the tooth
no matter how hard i looked
it was supposed to be there

knock!

"Go away!" I whimpered.
"Hey, you okay..?" Amitola questioned softly, "you've been in there a while.."
"I'm fucking fine.." I growled.
"Alice, you don't sound fine at all.." She sighed.
"Amitola go away I'll be out in a second.." I hissed.
"Alice let me in.." Her voice got louder.
"Why?" I growled loudly.
"To let me help you.." She said softly.
"Open the door.." I groaned, sobbing on the floor.
"Oh my gosh.." She frowned, helping me up, "Let's get you to bed.."
She let me to my room, letting me plop down on my bed, "Thank you.."
"No problem, I'll go get you some water.." She kissed my head, sending shocks down my body.
"Mhm.." I mumbled, letting her walk away.
"Here.. it's cold," She handed me a water bottle.
"Thanks.." I try to make out a smile, but tears roll onto my cheek.
"You mind if I sleep in here with you?" She smiled, wiping the tear off my face.
"Never.." I smiled weakly as she crawled onto the other side of the bed.
"You can tell me what happened in the morning.." She kissed my cheek, wrapping her arms around me.
"Okay.." I mumbled.

we just sat there
listening to silence,
or the vent that blowed air throughout the house
i just grabbed onto amitola's shirt
not wanting to let her go
like i did with my dad.